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Writing Samples
Band 4

As computers are being used more and move in education. There will soon be no role for the teacher in classroom. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#computers #move #education #role #teacher #classroom
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As everybody knows
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
we live technology time. People can
use
 it everywhere it navodays sac as education. İt has a big role in there. many
students
use
computers
 for their homework, study, get some
informatationor
Correct your spelling
information
 research everything. İ believe
computers
 get
instead
 of
teachers
one
 day. ,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
this
 has some advantages and disadvantages. On the
one
 hand, we had
blackboard
Correct article usage
a blackboard
show examples
 15 years ago.
However
 many classes
use
 smart boards
instead
 of blackboards. Because it is so useful than
blackboard
Correct article usage
the blackboard
show examples
 board, no need to write everything only open the computer and show
students
 what you want like pictures, essays even
play
Verb problem
apply
show examples
videos.
For example
,
one
 of my friends who is a
teacher
 said to me;
when
Correct word choice
that when
show examples
 we pass to
computers
 for lessons, we are so comfortable and concentre in class. The example shows us,
computers
Correct word choice
that computers
show examples
 wanna being more in education and
be
Verb problem
have
show examples
 no role for the
teacher
 in a classroom.
On the other hand
,
computers
use
Wrong verb form
are used
show examples
for education in the classroom.
however
, when
students
 want can ask their
teacher
 and
teachers
 know which
students
 need everything and all
teachers
 have a strategy for each of their
students
.
For instance
,
one
 of a
teacher
(I saw on the TV two years ago) can see their student's ability to dance and the student thank his
teacher
 very popular dancer in Turkey. As an example, many
teachers
 help their
students
.
To sum up
, we need
computers
 because
I
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 make our life easier and
gives
Correct subject-verb agreement
give
show examples
a
Correct pronoun usage
us a
show examples
lot of information
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
us
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. We the other side, we need
teachers
 because only a computer is not enough for
students
.
İn
Correct your spelling
In
 my opinion, we won't have
teachers
 in the classroom when
computers
 more develop and can answer questions, that time won't need
teachers
 even building of school.
Submitted by ares.grup on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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