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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#land #three #regions #world #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s. The illustrations describe the causes of
falling
Correct article usage
the falling
show examples
 productivity of agricultural land and their consequences
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 three regions of the world in
1990s
Correct article usage
the 1990s
show examples
 years.
Overall
Linking Words
, only the
over-graziing
Correct your spelling
over-grazing
 type
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
causes more than one
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
third,
Linking Words
whereas
Linking Words
, by
region
Add a comma
region,
show examples
 the most
degradated
Correct your spelling
degraded
 region is Europe with just less than one
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
fourth. In comparison with the other lands - Oceania has two
source
Change to a plural noun
sources
show examples
 of degradation of land - deforestation and over-grazing,
while
Linking Words
, in North America and Europe, there are added over-cultivztion to sources. The cause of deforestation
type
Verb problem
is
show examples
 the
most
Correct word choice
highest
show examples
 percentage in Europe with about one in ten,
however
Linking Words
, in North America the least and in Australia and New Zealand the middle percentage. The peak by percentage is in Oceania - over-grazing.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Pie chart
  • Table
  • Main features
  • Comparisons
  • Decreasing productivity
  • Reasons
  • Regional variations
  • Data
  • Summarize
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