Parents should encourage their children to spend less time on studying and more time on doing sports and other physical activities. Do you agree or disagree?

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Many
parents
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think that they should support their
children
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to spend
time
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on
Change preposition
apply
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doing physical activities rather than studying. I totally agree that
students
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need to
exercise
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or
sports
Add a missing verb
do sports
show examples
for
their
Change the word
a
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healthy
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
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therefore
Linking Words
parents
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have to encourage
children
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can spend
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
time
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to
Change the verb form
exercising
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exercise
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. Some
parents
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believe that
students
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have to spend
time
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on
sudying
Correct your spelling
studying
rather than other activities. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the
study
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is more important for their
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children
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children's
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future which mean
high level
Add a hyphen
high-level
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universities and
more
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apply
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better jobs
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they want their
children
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more
Fix the infinitive
to more
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concentrate
their
Change preposition
on their
show examples
study
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than spending other sports.
For example
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, In
korea
Change the capitalization
Korea
show examples
, most
students
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give up the
exercise
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Linking Words
then
Correct word choice
and then
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study
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very hard most
time
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.
Therefore
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, many
student
Change to a plural noun
students
show examples
feel tired
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
and be difficult to control their stress.
However
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,
Many
Fix capitalization
many
show examples
parents
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think it is more important
their
Change preposition
for their
show examples
children
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keep
Fix the infinitive
to keep
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the
Correct article usage
a
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balance between
study
Use synonyms
and fitness. They understand that concentration
is needed
Wrong verb form
needs
show examples
a lot of energy so that their
children
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make
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
better
score
Fix the agreement mistake
scores
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and
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
.
For example
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, In
sydney
Change the capitalization
Sydney
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, many
students
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try to do various physical activities after school.
Thus
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, they know how to enjoy
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sports
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also
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and also
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make more strong their physical. It helps the
children
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reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
stress
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then
Correct word choice
and then
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easy to concentrate
their
Change preposition
on their
show examples
Use synonyms
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
.
Therefore
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, many
parents
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recommend and provide their
children
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can spend on doing
Wrong verb form
with time to do
show examples
exercise
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more than studying. In conclusion, Studying is very important in
students
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's
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
that is
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why
parents
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support
Verb problem
work
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hardly
Change the word
hard
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to make more better environment for their child,
Linking Words
however
Capitalize word
However
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, I believe that keeping
balance
Add an article
a balance
the balance
show examples
between health and studying is more important to make good
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
for
student's
Change noun form
students'
show examples
Use synonyms
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
.

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