Parents should encourage their children to spend less time on studying and more time on doing sports and other physical activities. Do you agree or disagree?

#parents #children #time #sports #activities

Many

parents

think that they should support their

children

to spend

time

Change preposition

apply

show examples

doing physical activities rather than studying. I totally agree that

students

need to

exercise

sports

Add a missing verb

do sports

show examples

for

their

Change the word

show examples

healthy

life style

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

therefore

parents

have to encourage

children

can spend

Change preposition

apply

show examples

time

Change the verb form

exercising

show examples

exercise

. Some

parents

believe that

students

have to spend

time

sudying

Correct your spelling

studying

rather than other activities. Because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

the

study

is more important for their

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

future which mean

high level

Add a hyphen

high-level

show examples

universities and

Change the word

apply

show examples

better jobs

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

they want their

children

Fix the infinitive

to more

show examples

concentrate

their

Change preposition

on their

show examples

study

than spending other sports.

For example

, In

korea

Change the capitalization

Korea

show examples

, most

students

give up the

exercise

then

Correct word choice

and then

show examples

study

very hard most

time

Therefore

, many

student

Change to a plural noun

students

show examples

feel tired

everyday

Replace the word

every day

show examples

and be difficult to control their stress.

However

Many

Fix capitalization

many

show examples

parents

think it is more important

their

Change preposition

for their

show examples

children

keep

Fix the infinitive

to keep

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

balance between

study

and fitness. They understand that concentration

is needed

Wrong verb form

needs

show examples

a lot of energy so that their

children

make

Change the word

apply

show examples

better

score

Fix the agreement mistake

scores

show examples

and

result

Fix the agreement mistake

results

show examples

For example

, In

sydney

Change the capitalization

Sydney

show examples

, many

students

try to do various physical activities after school.

Thus

, they know how to enjoy

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sports

also

Correct word choice

and also

show examples

make more strong their physical. It helps the

children

reduce

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

stress

then

Correct word choice

and then

show examples

easy to concentrate

their

Change preposition

on their

show examples

study

Fix the agreement mistake

studies

show examples

Therefore

, many

parents

recommend and provide their

children

can spend on doing

Wrong verb form

with time to do

show examples

exercise

more than studying. In conclusion, Studying is very important in

students

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

that is

why

parents

support

Verb problem

work

show examples

hardly

Change the word

hard

show examples

to make more better environment for their child,

however

Capitalize word

However

show examples

, I believe that keeping

balance

Add an article

a balance

the balance

show examples

between health and studying is more important to make good

result

Fix the agreement mistake

results

show examples

for

student's

Change noun form

students'

show examples

study

Fix the agreement mistake

studies

show examples

Submitted by lssbb3393 on Thu Aug 24 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
42Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

259 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
task 2 :In many countries, young people are granted certain privileges and responsibilities at the age of sixteen. Clearly parents have a responsibility to both care for and prepare their children as they approach this important milestone. To what degree should parents intervene in the lives of their 14-15 year-old children?
As children grow older, they can be more responsible in the things they do themselves. But when they have not yet reached adulthood, parents still have the responsibility to educate them. In this article, I will present ideas about how parents should control their teenage children.
6.5
band
Many teachers follow the practice of giving students task for home often based on lessons taught in class . It is often believed that such a practice should be stopped as it reduces time spend on leisure activities or nonacademic pursuits. Do you agree or disagree?
There is a debate that by giving students homework teachers take away the extra time they could have spent on outside activities, therefore it should be eliminated. This essay disagrees with this statement because it is an effective way for students to fully understand the material and it teaches them to be more responsible.
<4
band
Last week you traveled to a distant place by plane for a business meeting and your suitcase was lost. You complained about the airlines but you have still heard nothing from the airline company. •Description of your suitcase. What was in it? •What is the behind this negligence? •What they are going to do about it?.
To whom it may concern,
5
band
Modern technology, such as personal computers and the Internet, have make it possible for many people to do their work from home at least part of the time instead of going to an office every day. What are some of the advantage and disadvantages of this situation?
Thanks to technological developments larger proportion of employees prefer to work at home instead of going to an daily. This essay will discuss about advantages and disadvantages of this situation that have been occuring in our society.
7.5
band
Only formal examinations, written or practical, can give a clear picture of students’ true knowledge and ability at university level. Continuous assessment like course work and projects are poor measures of student ability. To what extent do you agree or disagree on this IELTS topic?
In the world of education, the evaluation of students’ knowledge and ability on several measurements has sparked a debate. Some people consider that it is more important to give an evident overview of their capability with a formal, both written or practical, exam rather than allow them to learn through coursework and projects. However, I agree with the former statement for some reasons which are set out below.

Parents should encourage their children to spend less time on studying and more time on doing sports and other physical activities. Do you agree or disagree?

Many teachers follow the practice of giving students task for home often based on lessons taught in class . It is often believed that such a practice should be stopped as it reduces time spend on leisure activities or nonacademic pursuits. Do you agree or disagree?

Modern technology, such as personal computers and the Internet, have make it possible for many people to do their work from home at least part of the time instead of going to an office every day. What are some of the advantage and disadvantages of this situation?

Only formal examinations, written or practical, can give a clear picture of students’ true knowledge and ability at university level. Continuous assessment like course work and projects are poor measures of student ability. To what extent do you agree or disagree on this IELTS topic?