IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#line #percentage #tourists #england #four #attractions #brighton #information #features #comparisons
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The line graph illustrates the proportion of
visitors
Use synonyms
 to England who go to see four different attractions (Art Gallery, Pavilion, Pier and Festival) in Brighton from 1980 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
Pavilion
Correct article usage
the Pavilion
show examples
 had been changed
increadibly
Correct your spelling
incredibly
 over the period,
also
Linking Words
Art
Correct article usage
the Art
show examples
 Gallery fluctuated and
then
Linking Words
 fell
down
Rephrase
apply
show examples
significantly.
And the
Correct word choice
The
show examples
 other places which are Pier and Festival steadied decline and rose between 1980 and 2010. The percentage of
Add an article
the pavilion
show examples
pavilion
Fix the agreement mistake
pavilions
show examples
 was around 23% in 1980, but in 1995,
Correct pronoun usage
it significant
show examples
significant
Change the adjective
significantly
show examples
 increased
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to 48%, from
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 year the
Use synonyms
visitors
Correct quantifier usage
number of visitors
show examples
dramatic
Change the word
dramatically
show examples
 declined by 20% until 2010. Tourists of Art Gallery started to just over 20%, climbing up to about 38% in 1985, kept reducing to 9%
at the end
Linking Words
 of
year
Add an article
the year
show examples
 given. The proportion of Pier was 10%,
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 1980, and
then
Linking Words
 the percentage
Use synonyms
visitors
Change preposition
of visitors
show examples
steadly
Correct your spelling
steadily
 went
to
Change preposition
up
show examples
 by over 21% even
there
Correct word choice
though there
show examples
 was a little fluctuation over the period. The number of festival
visitors
Use synonyms
 was exactly 30% at
begin
Wrong verb form
the beginning
show examples
 year which is 1980, and slightly
drop until
Wrong verb form
dropped
show examples
 in 1995 and
then
Linking Words
 went up again to close
28
Change preposition
to 28
show examples
% in 2000, after 2000 there
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 no change
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 percentage of tourists until
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2010 which means kept near 28%.
Submitted by lssbb3393 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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