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Band 5

The best way to reduce poverty in developing countries is by giving up to six years of free education, so that they can at least read, write and use numbers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#poverty #countries #six #years #education #numbers
Some
people
 believe that by making a free education system
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 citizens in developing
countries
 ,especially ,
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 first six years of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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poverty
in
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apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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will
reduce
Wrong verb form
be reduced
show examples
. I
am
Unnecessary verb
apply
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completely
agreee
Correct your spelling
agree
agreed
 with
this
 statement.
Because reading
Correct word choice
Reading
show examples
 and writing can open many doors to
young
Add an article
the young
show examples
 generation
as well
as
Correct word choice
and
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this
 notion proved her success in developed nations . Reading and writing are the
source
Change the noun form
sources
show examples
 of
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
knowledge around the world. If
youth
 in poor
countries
 are educated to read and write, they will have plenty of choices in their world. As the internet has many free courses on it
so that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
, they can choose which one they learn and start to open their
carreress
Correct your spelling
careers
 in developed
countries
 .
For example
, many
youth
Change to a plural noun
youths
show examples
 in Egypt took courses on American accents and
start
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
 to teach them
for
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to
show examples
 other Egyptian
people
 .
Additionally
, Kema is
Egyptian
Correct article usage
an Egyptian
show examples
 blogger who works
on
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in
show examples
 America as a translator because he learned
hhimself
Correct your spelling
himself
. So reading and writing opens
may
Correct your spelling
many
show examples
 doors
to
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for
show examples
youth
 to be richer than before. When opportunities open to poor citizens
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
their nations will benefit from it.
Moreover
, developed
countries
 applied
this
 idea over
Add an article
a decade
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decade
Fix the agreement mistake
decades
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,
as
Correct word choice
and as
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 a result of ,
this
 adaptation they have become rich in the 221st century
For example
, In the Netherlands
people
 are more productive and successful than African
people
 who
don't
Wrong verb form
didn't
show examples
 know until now how to read or write. African
people
 still suffering to supply
them selfes by
Correct your spelling
themselves with
 food and water.
Besides
 they don't have any idea about how the world has changed. In conclusion, I agree
with
Change preposition
that
show examples
free
Correct article usage
the free
show examples
 education system opens doors to
reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
show examples
 poverty
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
when it is applied to developed
countries
 their sustainability to be richer continuous , and by reading
youth
 can
accur
Correct your spelling
occur
acquire
 any knowledge .
Submitted by someysamanoudi on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • poverty alleviation
  • functional literacy
  • numeracy skills
  • educational opportunity
  • employment prospects
  • critical thinking
  • empowerment
  • inequality reduction
  • sustainable development
  • innovation
What to do next:
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