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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that schools should give prizes for academic successes. Others argue that it is more important for schools to give prizes for other achievements (for example, for sports, music and behaviour). Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The notion of Some individuals contend that schools should appreciate
children
Use synonyms
 only for their academic achievements,
while
Linking Words
 others argue that accomplishments in other areas
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as music and sports
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
, also
show examples
also should
Correct word order
should also
show examples
 be
recognized
Change the spelling
recognised
show examples
 and
prioritized
Change the spelling
prioritised
show examples
. Both perspectives have their merits
reflecting
Punctuation problem
, reflecting
show examples
 the
overall
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 well-being of education. On one hand, it is undeniable that there are several essential subjects that provide wider and more extensive knowledge
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 allows
children
Use synonyms
 to enhance their abilities to thrive in a competitive society. Fostering their ability to learn areas
such
Linking Words
 as science and maths promotes intellectual thinking ability, and
secure
Correct subject-verb agreement
secures
show examples
Correct article usage
a
show examples
good
fame
Check wording
reputation
show examples
 in their communities and workplaces. In
such
Linking Words
 instances, it is vital to encourage the school-goers for their success related to the academy.
However
Linking Words
, learning
arts
Use synonyms
 and practising play are crucial for physical
as well as
Linking Words
 mental health. The
arts
Use synonyms
 are undoubtedly helpful in nurturing different skills that are hidden inside our brains unknowingly. Learning new skills apart from the core subjects
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 evokes emotions and creativity. The
arts
Use synonyms
 and sports aid in developing creative thinking, problem-solving,
perplexing
Replace the word
perplexity
show examples
 and enthusiasm. There are several incidents where it is recorded that
children
Use synonyms
 who are allowed to learn
arts
Use synonyms
 and sports showed significant self-esteem and enthusiasm for learning new things.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is mandatory to encourage them to be involved in different aspects and choose their future career without any barriers. Awarding them with prizes for success
irrelevant
Punctuation problem
, irrelevant
show examples
 to school
education
Punctuation problem
education,
show examples
also
Linking Words
 affects an individual's mental health. In conclusion, whether it is academic or other extracurricular activities,
children
Use synonyms
 should not be prohibited from what they like to learn.
Moreover
Linking Words
, more than society, schools
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 hold greater responsibility in enhancing
skills
Punctuation problem
skills,
show examples
 should support all kinds of achievements.

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structure
Plan your essay with a simple outline before you write. Have an intro that restates the topic, two body parts for each side, and a short ending that says your view.
coherence
Use clear link words to join ideas. Words like first, also, but, however, and in addition help the reader.
content
Give one clear example for each main idea. This makes the point stronger, not just a general claim.
language
Check grammar and use of words. Watch for errors like plural rules and noun forms.
language
Try to use simple, common words. Avoid hard and long phrases that may confuse readers.
content
The essay shows an attempt to discuss both sides.
structure
There is a clear ending that states an opinion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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