IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #household #expenditures #japan #malaysia #year #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The
given
Verb problem
apply
show examples
pie graph gives data on the average family
spendings
Fix the agreement mistake
spending
show examples
 in two countries over
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 period year 2010. It can be seen from the graph that,
average
Correct article usage
the average
show examples
 family spending
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 housing,
food
 and other goods and services in Japan and Malaysia had
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
 number
transport
Change preposition
of transport
show examples
 and health care.
This
 figure
saw
Verb problem
shows that
show examples
 in Malaysia family expenditure and
food
higher
Add a missing verb
are higher
show examples
Japan
Change preposition
than in Japan
show examples
 meanwhile the average family
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Japan have high data. Looking at the chart more closely, we can see that the average family expenditure
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 housing,
food
, and other goods and services in Malaysia
higher
Add a missing verb
is higher
show examples
 with
34percen
Correct your spelling
34 per cent
,
27percen
Correct your spelling
27 per cent
 and
26percen
Correct your spelling
26 per cent
 respectively. In which the spending
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 transport and health care is very low with
10percen
Correct your spelling
10 per cent
 and 3percen respectively in 2010. Regarding Japan’s figure, the average family spending for housing
21percen
Correct your spelling
was 21 per cent
, other goods and services with 29percen, and
food
only
Add a missing verb
was only
show examples
24percen
Correct your spelling
24 per cent
 in 2010. The metric is lower for spending
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 transport,
health
Correct word choice
and health
show examples
 care with numbers 20percen and 6percen respectively.
Submitted by quynhtranhbh on

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Linking words: Add some linking words.
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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words food, percen with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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