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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagrams below show the life cycle of the silkworm and the stages in the production of silk cloth. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The diagrams below show the life cycle of the silkworm and the stages in the production of silk cloth. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
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The provided maps
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
show examples
 the rotation of
silkworm
Use synonyms
 and the levels of the production of
silk
Use synonyms
 clothes.
Overall
Linking Words
 it can be
notest
Correct your spelling
noted
show examples
 that the life cycle goes through
fourth
Correct article usage
the fourth
show examples
stages
Fix the agreement mistake
stage
show examples
 where the
silk
Use synonyms
 fibre
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the produced for the next plan in six levels. First and foremost, eggs
where is in the first levels of the
Add the comma(s)
, where is in the first levels of the silkworm's life,
show examples
silkworm
Use synonyms
's life
takes
Correct subject-verb agreement
take
show examples
 ten days to become
Use synonyms
silkworm
Correct article usage
a silkworm
show examples
 larve which feeds on mulberry
loat
Correct your spelling
lot
,
then
Linking Words
 through about 4-6 weeks larve becomes small and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
divides
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 two
silk
Use synonyms
thred
Correct your spelling
thread
third
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
after that from 3-8 days it changed to cocoon which is the stage before
last
Linking Words
then
Linking Words
 after 16 days it
become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
 a
dult
Correct your spelling
adult
silkworm
Use synonyms
 called moth.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the second
plans
Fix the agreement mistake
plan
show examples
 which concerns
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the production of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
silk
Use synonyms
 clothes , the
silk
Use synonyms
 cloths are first selected and boiled.
Thereafter
Linking Words
, they are unwound and twisted. In fact, for a single cloth, the unwound thread is measured at astonishing figures, 300 to 800 meters long. Ultimately, the thread is dyed and weaved to make finished goods.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words silkworm, silk with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Silkworm
  • Larva
  • Cocoon
  • Moth
  • Mulberry leaves
  • Caterpillar
  • Pupa stage
  • Silk thread
  • Cycle
  • Harvested cocoons
  • Boiled
  • Unwound
  • Spun
  • Woven
  • Dyeing
  • Silk cloth production
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