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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The increasing demand for energy is contributing to climate change and the depletion of non-renewable resources. What steps can be taken to promote the use of renewable energy sources and reduce our reliance on fossil fuels?

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Energy
Use synonyms
 is one of the most important
source
Change to a plural noun
sources
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 development.
the
Capitalize word
The
show examples
 need
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
energy
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the earth is increasing day by day.
without
Capitalize word
Without
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energy
Use synonyms
resources
Use synonyms
, no development can occur. but the rapid increase in the demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
energy
Use synonyms
 is
effecting
Correct your spelling
affecting
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
climate change and the quality and quantity of non-renewable
resources
Use synonyms
 i.e. fossil
Use synonyms
fuel
Fix the agreement mistake
fuels
show examples
.
to
Capitalize word
To
show examples
 overcome these negative impacts,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
renewable
energy
Use synonyms
resources
Use synonyms
 should be used
instead
Linking Words
 of fossil
Use synonyms
fuel
Fix the agreement mistake
fuels
show examples
.
Linking Words
firstly
Capitalize word
Firstly
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,
people
Use synonyms
 need to be aware of the harm of it.
a
Capitalize word
A
show examples
 proper team should be hired for the purpose of awaring
peaople
Correct your spelling
people
 about the use of renewable
resources
Use synonyms
. proper seminars and events should be arranged for it.
when
Capitalize word
When
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
get
Verb problem
become
show examples
 aware of it
Linking Words
then
Rephrase
apply
show examples
they will switch to renewable
energy
Use synonyms
resources
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
secondly
Capitalize word
Secondly
show examples
, most of the
energy
Use synonyms
 is used in the industries for the production which they get from non-renewable
resources
Use synonyms
. but if they get an affordable alternative i.e. solar
system
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 the industries can switch to it but
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the cost reduction can only be done by the government by reducing taxes on it and giving some subsidies.
Linking Words
for
Capitalize word
For
show examples
 example, a textile factory was producing clothes on the
energy
Use synonyms
 made by fossil
fuel
Use synonyms
. the industry got a subsidized solar
system
Use synonyms
 or a
tax free
Add a hyphen
tax-free
show examples
system
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 its low cost and
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
long lasting
Add a hyphen
long-lasting
show examples
system
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 the industry switched to it because of these benefits.
in
Capitalize word
In
show examples
 conclusion, the
energy
Use synonyms
 made from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fossil
fuel
Use synonyms
 is
way
Rephrase
very
show examples
 dangerous to the climate
due to
Linking Words
 which the
people
Use synonyms
 may suffer and the
system
Use synonyms
 of the earth get disturbed. but by
awaring
Correct your spelling
awarding
people
Use synonyms
 and providing
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
better
energy
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
resources
Correct the article-noun agreement
resource
show examples
 which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 renewable and less harmful
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society, we can overcome
ths
Correct your spelling
this
 danger.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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