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Writing Samples
Band 5

The graph below gives information from a 2008 report about consumption of energy in the USA since 1980 with projections until 200 Summarize the information by selecting and reporting main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information from a 2008 report about consumption of energy in the USA since 1980 with projections until 200 Summarize the information by selecting and reporting main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #report #consumption #energy #usa #projections #features #comparisons
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The line chart reveals data
according to
Linking Words
 a 2008 report about the use of
energy
Use synonyms
 in the United States from 1980 to the predicted 2030.There are six kinds of
energy
Use synonyms
 including
petrol
Use synonyms
 and
oil
Use synonyms
, coal, natural gas, nuclear, solar / wind and hydropower.
Overall
Linking Words
, the vast majority of
energy
Use synonyms
 consumption in the USA was
petrol
Use synonyms
 and
oil
Use synonyms
, whilst the use of hydropower was mostly the least in the given time.
According to
Linking Words
 the information shown in the graph, Americans relied on
petrol
Use synonyms
 and
oil
Use synonyms
 the most in the given time which was above 30
quadrillion
Use synonyms
units
Use synonyms
 and was even expected to reach 50
quadrillion
Use synonyms
units
Use synonyms
 in 2030.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the consumption of hydropower was never over 5
quadrillion
Use synonyms
units
Use synonyms
 and was estimated to experience a plateau period of 2
quadrillion
Use synonyms
units
Use synonyms
 after 2010.
To sum up
Linking Words
, it can be apparently seen that
petrol
Use synonyms
 and
oil
Use synonyms
 played leading roles in
Use synonyms
energy
Correct article usage
the energy
show examples
 supply in the USA over the
5
Correct word choice
last 5
show examples
decades.
Submitted by s99104032 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, petrol, oil, quadrillion, units with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • depicts
  • trend
  • consumption
  • projections
  • slow growth
  • advancements
  • efficiency
  • acceleration
  • underscoring
  • expanding economy
  • household demands
  • trajectory
  • technological advancements
  • population growth
  • standards of living
  • renewable energy
  • fossil fuels
  • sustainable energy policies
  • environmental impacts
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