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Writing Samples
Band 5

some people believe a high salary is the most important factor when choosing a job. others believe that a good working environment is more important. discuss both view and give your opinion

#people #salary #factor #job #environment
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A group of individuals present the view that salary plays the most vital role in seeking a
job
Use synonyms
 position. Others think that the workplace's atmosphere is more important. I believe both
side
Fix the agreement mistake
sides
show examples
 certainly impact the reasons that one chooses a
job
Use synonyms
,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 income can ease some burdens and tensions in each career.
in
Capitalize word
In
show examples
 the following ,essay I am going to discuss my opinion in detail. On the one hand, a sizeable number of people go to work to earn money. They want to provide standards of living for themself and their family members.
As a result
Linking Words
, a high salary absorbs many applicant's attention to apply for a
job
Use synonyms
 vacancy.
Also
Linking Words
, folk who has
high earning
Add a hyphen
high-earning
show examples
 task are able to receive better bank services and give you chances to get more loan to buy a house and car. Take
myself
Change the pronoun
me
show examples
 as an example,
last
Linking Words
 year I seeking a
job
Use synonyms
 relating to my subject and among some options l hired in a company that offered better income,
although
Linking Words
 it was
further
Linking Words
 from my home and my colleague
as
Correct your spelling
was
show examples
 not as experienced as the personnel of other firms.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
innovative
Correct article usage
an innovative
show examples
 and happy work environment helps employees to learn new things and broaden their horizons. Some people insist that working in
this
Linking Words
 environment encourages workers to work more effectively.
However
Linking Words
, I do not find
this
Linking Words
 argument convincing as if recruits are paid well they do not have any concern about the cost of living and
consequently
Linking Words
 they find it easy to do their task curiously. In conclusion, in my view, a well-paid
job
Use synonyms
 boosts the levels of one's life and an individual enjoys her or his life by having whatever wants.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
 a good working environment relieves stress and sometimes makes the hirer more productive.
Submitted by n.rezaei199170 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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