The diagram shows many stages of brick manufacturing for the building industry. Brick production involves 7 steps.

The diagram shows many stages of brick manufacturing for the building industry. Brick production involves 7 steps.
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The diagram shows many stages of brick manufacturing for the building industry. Brick production involves 7 steps.
The diagram shows many stages of brick manufacturing for the building industry. Brick production involves 7 steps. 
How
Correct word choice
As
show examples
we see in the diagram,
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
step is digging the clay.
Linking Words
after
Capitalize word
After
show examples
this
Linking Words
, the clay
filtered
Add a missing verb
was filtered
show examples
in a roller and mixed with water and sand.
The next step is
Linking Words
passing
this
Linking Words
mixture to
wire
Correct article usage
a wire
show examples
cutter or mould
Linking Words
due
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to get the
bricks
Use synonyms
at the end
Linking Words
of
this
Linking Words
stage.
Then
Linking Words
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
these
show examples
bricks
Use synonyms
are dried for 24 - 48 hours in
drying
Correct article usage
a drying
show examples
oven. In
fifth
Correct article usage
the fifth
show examples
step
Add a comma
,step
show examples
we see that after
drying
Correct article usage
the drying
show examples
process the
bricks
Use synonyms
kept
Add a missing verb
were kept
show examples
a
Change preposition
in a
show examples
kiln: in moderate about 200-980
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
and in high which
about
Add a missing verb
is about
show examples
870-1300
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
. From
Linking Words
this
Add a comma
,this
show examples
they placed in
cooling
Correct article usage
a cooling
show examples
chamber
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
48-72 hours. In
penultimate
Correct article usage
the penultimate
show examples
stage
Add a comma
,stage
show examples
they are going to
a packing
Wrong verb form
pack
show examples
. And the
last
Linking Words
one they delivered.  So
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
brick manufacturing is
multi-stage
Add an article
a multi-stage
show examples
process which involves
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
. And the
bricks
Use synonyms
will be strong
due to
Linking Words
a mixture and the
modeling
Change the spelling
modelling
show examples
raw
Change preposition
of raw
show examples
bricks
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "due to".
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words bricks with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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