IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the US and Japan between March 1993 and March 1999.

The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the US and Japan between March 1993 and March 1999.
#unemployment #rates #japan #march
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line chart illustrates the
unemployment
Use synonyms
 percentages in the United
States
Use synonyms
 and
Japan
Use synonyms
 over a six-year period from
March
Use synonyms
 1993 to
March
Use synonyms
 1999.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
unemployment
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 decreased in the United
States
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 it increased in
Japan
Use synonyms
. Beginning with the United
States
Use synonyms
, the
unemployment
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 started at 7% in
March
Use synonyms
 1993 and
then
Linking Words
 gradually declined to approximately 4.1% by
March
Use synonyms
 1999.
This
Linking Words
 marked a significant reduction of about 2.9% over the six-year span.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
Japan
Use synonyms
 experienced a gradual increase in its
unemployment
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 during the same period. In
March
Use synonyms
 1993, the
unemployment
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 was 2.4%, which
then
Linking Words
 climbed steadily to nearly 4.7% by
March
Use synonyms
 1999. In summary, the
unemployment
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 in the United
States
Use synonyms
 showed a consistent decline,
while
Linking Words
 in
Japan
Use synonyms
, there was a noticeable upward trend. The
overall
Linking Words
 picture suggests that the
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 markets in these two countries followed distinct trajectories during the specified time frame.
Submitted by Aziz on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall, while".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words unemployment, states, japan, march, rate with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Unemployment rate
  • Trend
  • Comparison
  • Period
  • Sharp increase/decrease
  • Correlation
  • Economic policies
  • Technological advancements
  • Global economic conditions
  • Consumer spending
  • Social welfare
  • Public sentiment
  • Predictions
  • Economic strategies
What to do next:
Look at other essays: