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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Schools are spending more time teaching traditional subjects such as history. Some people think they should rather spend more time in teaching skills that can help students find a job. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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The community suggested that
the
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educational institutions should focus more on materials like teaching their
students
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 the
skills
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 they need in order to help them seek a job
instead
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 of wasting a lot of student's
time
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 on traditional courses like history.
This
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 essay agreed with both
prespectives
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perspectives
in
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on
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 different levels will
show
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be shown
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 later. There are lots of benefits of spending
time
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on
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apply
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learning new
skills
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,
specially
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especially
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 during school years, which support their
CV's
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CVs
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 and give them the opportunity to easily become an employee
then
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 they set up their career and from that point
to
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apply
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become an owner of their private business, and that's will happen if the schools offer
a
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classes in teaching
skills
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 more than traditional lessons, which I agreed 60
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percent
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per cent
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. An example of a school in Jordan
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that start
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start
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started
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 a course called financial management
since
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in
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 2018,
there
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There
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 is a company
visit
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visiting
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 that school to contract with the
students
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 to become an employee after they
graduated
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graduate
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, which is a great opportunity for them.
On the other hand
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, I agreed
40
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with 40
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percent
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per cent
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 on learning history and other theoretical courses, the main reasons are that the
students
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 need to have
a good background knowledge
Remove the article
good background knowledge
a piece of good background knowledge
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 about the past.
In addition
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, they should
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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benifits
Correct your spelling
benefit
of
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from
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 that information
such
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 as they will gain an Experience from other's life, which help them from wasting their
time
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from
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apply
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trying that path.
Whereas
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, some
students
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 don't enjoy
like
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apply
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these lessons and become bored, and
this
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 is because it doesn't have
any thing
Correct your spelling
anything
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 practical unlike
skills
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, but there are
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
ways to convince those
students
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 by having
a
Correct article usage
apply
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good preparation
to
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for
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 those subjects,
such
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 as showing them a movie or taking them to a museum like The Natural Museum or make them part of it like a play
such
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 as Shakespeare's play Hamlet.
To conclude
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, all the previous thoughts and
suggest
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suggestions
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, as the essay mentioned that like the percentage of my agreed, 60
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 of the
time
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 should spend on
skills
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 and 40
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 on traditional courses to make
a
Correct article usage
the
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 right balance in the education system.You should spend about 40 minutes on
this
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 task. Schools are spending more
time
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 teaching traditional subjects
such
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 as history. Some people think they should rather spend more
time
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
teaching
skills
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 that can help
students
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 find a job. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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