In many cities the use of video cameras in public places is being increased in order to reduce crime, but some people believe these measures restrict our individual freedom.Do the benefits of increased security outweigh the drawbacks?

#cities #video #cameras #places #crime #people #measures #freedom #security

Growing

numbers

Fix the agreement mistake

number

show examples

of security

cameras

in cities for the purpose of enhancing social

saftey

Correct your spelling

safety

has led to some concerns for a group of citizens.

This

group are mostly worried about the potential threats of these devices

for

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show examples

human

liberiy

Correct your spelling

liberty

. Accepting

this

probale

Correct your spelling

probable

issue,I personally assume that the benefits of using these measures

considrablity

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considerably

outweigh

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

disadvantages. As these devices can intrude

people’s

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on people’s

show examples

privacy,they could be

potentialy

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potentially

problematic in some societies. In some special cultures like

religous

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religious

ones,plenty of activities in

puplic

Correct your spelling

public

are not illegal but unconventional. Leaking

these kind

Change the determiner

this kind

these kinds

show examples

of scenes from

puplic

Correct your spelling

public

cameras

can hurt

Add an article

the feeling

show examples

feeling

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feelings

show examples

of society members and in advance jeopardize people’s personal lives. As a vivid example, a video

got

Verb problem

went

show examples

viral several years ago showing how a lady accidentally

had

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

caught her husband with another woman

while

using

google

Capitalize word

Google

show examples

map

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Maps

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On the other hand

however

, certain various benefits could be considered via using

puplic

Correct your spelling

public

cameras

.The foremost value

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

is enhancing

saftey

Correct your spelling

safety

in societies. Other possible advantages could be recognizing debile or

improvished

Correct your spelling

improvised

impoverished

dwellers as well.

As reliable

Correct word choice

Reliable

show examples

data confirm that ,in areas where

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

these

devieces

Correct your spelling

devices

have been vastly applied, the crime and

violance

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violence

rate

dramaticly

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dramatically

has fallen.

Moreover

,in the cases of social

welfars

Correct your spelling

welfare

,these measures could be extremely helpful in order to find vulnerable and indigent residents. Several reports have recently

published

Add a missing verb

been published

show examples

about saving abandoned infants in cities using

saftey

Correct your spelling

safety

cameras

. In conclusion,

although

saftey

Correct your spelling

safety

cameras

might sometimes disturb

pepeole’s

Correct your spelling

people’s

privacy,their numerous benefits including

restrain

Wrong verb form

restraining

show examples

criminal activities and

faciliating

Correct your spelling

facilitating

social

welfares

Fix the agreement mistake

welfare

show examples

for societies should not be overlooked.

Submitted by b.rezvankhah on Tue Aug 29 2023

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
36Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

247 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many cities the use of video cameras in public places is being increased in order to reduce crime, but some people believe these measures restrict our individual freedom.Do the benefits of increased security outweigh the drawbacks?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Young people do not spend their holidays and weekends doing outdoor activities such as hiking and climbing in nature. Why is this? And how can we encourage them to go out?

Film stars and music celebrities may earn a great deal of money and live in luxurious surroundings, but many of them lead unhappy lives. Do you agree? To what extent is this the price they pay for being famous?

The gap between the rich and the poor is increasingly wide, as poor people become poorer and rich people become richer. What problems could this situations casue??what are the solutions to address those problems??

Some educationalists think that international exchange visits will benefit teenagers at the school. To what extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?