Some people believe that school should concentrate on teaching students academic subjects that will be useful fot their future career. Other people think that subjects such as music and sports are also necessary. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #school #students #subjects #fot #future #career #music #sports

People have differing views with regard to the question of how necessary for

students

to study

art

subjects

While

some argue that

students

just need to study academic

subjects

, I believe other

subjects

including music and

sports

are

also

good for them Admittedly, there is good reason to say that

art

subjects

are

also

essential for

school

life.

To begin

with, these light

subjects

can leave

students

able to relax after studying too hard.

For instance

, children are often inundated with homework and deadlines nowadays. The competition in society is becoming more and more increase through the years.

That is

the reason why they need to work harder for their future ambitions.

Therefore

, they just have the

time

to study

art

subjects

such

as music and

sports

to spend a good part of their

time

playing and relaxing. These

subjects

do not force them to gain too much knowledge so perhaps they will feel unwound There is

also

a compelling reason to argue that schools do not remove

art

subjects

from their lecture. There are many

students

who have an aptitude for

art

sports

and these

subjects

help them improve their skills. To illustrate, a boy has good somatic and prowess at playing basketball.

However

, he did not know about that and just realized it through the

sports

lectures at

school

However

, he can not learn about

this

sport by himself.

Therefore

, teachers at

school

help him to augment his competency.

Moreover

sports

lectures help him to have more

time

for practising In conclusion, I would argue that

art

subjects

such

art

, music and

sports

are necessary for

school

life. Children can have

time

to relax but still gain more interesting knowledge. It

also

helps children to realize and improve their skill

Submitted by chi on Tue Aug 29 2023

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coherence cohesion

Improve the overall structure of the essay by using clear topic sentences and supporting details for each main point.

task achievement

Ensure that all parts of the prompt are addressed, and provide more relevant and specific examples to support your ideas.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

294 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that school should concentrate on teaching students academic subjects that will be useful fot their future career. Other people think that subjects such as music and sports are also necessary. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people think an international car-free day is an effective way to reduce air polution. Others think there are more effective ways to do this. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Wealthy nations should assist poorer countries with humanitarian relief during natural disasters. Do you agree or disagree?

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

What are the advantages and disadvantages of using social media? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think that living in big cities is bad for people’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and give any relevant example or experience you have to support your answer.