IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#minutes #bar #changes #percentage #people #australia #town #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The bar chart elaborates on the proportions of Australian citizens and immigrants that make up Australia, divided by three
catergories
Correct your spelling
categories
: Cities, Towns and Rural areas. Generally speaking, it can be
infered
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inferred
 that the most populated
location
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locations
show examples
, with both locals and foreigners, are
metropolitans
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metropolitan
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 areas. Examining the charts, we can see that Australian cities are more popular amongst outsiders, both in 1995 and 2010. The same can
also
 be said about the natives, who began to live more in
cites
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cities
show examples
 as time went on. Looking at towns and rural areas, they
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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used to be more
crowed
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crowded
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 in 1995.
However
, fast forward a few years, they are observed to significantly
decreases
Wrong verb form
decrease
show examples
 in percentage, especially amongst foreigners. By the time of 2010, the
proportions
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proportion
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 of people who
lives
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live
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in
Change preposition
apply
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outside of
cites
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cities
show examples
takes
Wrong verb form
took
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 up not even a fourth of the entire population. In sum, we can
deduced
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deduce
show examples
 from looking at the bar chart that people
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 only migrated into cities over time. It is estimated that, with
mordenization
Correct your spelling
modernization
modernisation
, the proportions will only get more unbalanced.
Submitted by k2englishcenter on

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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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