IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#minutes #bar #changes #percentage #people #australia #town #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The bar chart elaborates on the proportions of Australian citizens and immigrants that make up Australia, divided by three
catergories
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categories
: Cities, Towns and Rural areas. Generally speaking, it can be
infered
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inferred
 that the most populated
location
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locations
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, with both locals and foreigners, are
metropolitans
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metropolitan
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 areas. Examining the charts, we can see that Australian cities are more popular amongst outsiders, both in 1995 and 2010. The same can
also
 be said about the natives, who began to live more in
cites
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cities
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 as time went on. Looking at towns and rural areas, they
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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used to be more
crowed
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crowded
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 in 1995.
However
, fast forward a few years, they are observed to significantly
decreases
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decrease
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 in percentage, especially amongst foreigners. By the time of 2010, the
proportions
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proportion
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 of people who
lives
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live
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in
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apply
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outside of
cites
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cities
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takes
Wrong verb form
took
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 up not even a fourth of the entire population. In sum, we can
deduced
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deduce
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 from looking at the bar chart that people
has
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have
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 only migrated into cities over time. It is estimated that, with
mordenization
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modernization
modernisation
, the proportions will only get more unbalanced.
Submitted by k2englishcenter on

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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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