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Band 4

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #families #country #income #summarise #features #comparisons
Overall
,families’ costs changed in these years.
Firstly
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 want to start with food.Families spent 35 % of their income
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 food in 1968.But,
this
 percentage changed in 2018,it was be average
17
Change preposition
of 17
show examples
 %. The second
one
 is housing.It consisted of 10 % in 1968.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
this
 percentage increased about 9 % in 2018. The third
one
 is the spending
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 fuel and power,which is
needable
Correct your spelling
readable
needle
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 every time.The rate of
this
 is 6 %.But it
discreased
Correct your spelling
decreased
increased
 in 2018.The other comparison about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Clothing and
footware
Correct your spelling
footwear
, in 1968 spending
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
more than
2018
Change preposition
in 2018
show examples
. It’s interesting that the
cost’s
Change noun form
cost
show examples
 rate of household goods was equal in 1968 and 2018.
Also
, the information about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
personal goods is
also
 noted. It is less than in 2018.The other
one
 is
transport
Correct article usage
the transport
show examples
 fee.
It’s
Wrong verb form
It was
show examples
 only 8 % in 1968.But,
this
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
 changed in 2018.Eventually, the
last
one
 is leisure.There was
big
Add an article
a big
the big
show examples
 difference in
these field
Change the determiner
this field
these fields
show examples
.So, the percentage in 2018
approximately
Add a missing verb
was approximately
show examples
 three times more than in 1968.
This
 research
displeys
Correct your spelling
displays
 us
more
Change preposition
with more
show examples
 interesting facts about it.
Submitted by Ayan on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Contractions: Don't use contractions.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words one with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • compare
  • spending patterns
  • allocated
  • weekly income
  • significant changes
  • essential items
  • food
  • housing
  • clothing
  • leisure
  • communication
  • increase
  • decrease
  • twofold rise
  • substantial increase
  • quadrupling
  • declined
  • food and drink
  • slight increase
  • prioritizing
  • necessities
  • transitioned
  • portio
  • non-essential items
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