IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many claim that the fast-food industry had a negative effect on the environment, eating habits, and families. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, some individuals consider that the world's rise in population is unsuitable and would lead to a global emergency.
While
Linking Words
 others argue that it is necessary and benefits from increased economic growth and community. In my point of view, I believe that
although
Linking Words
 the economy is increasing, it seems to have an impact on the environment. On the one hand, there are several reasons to boost both economic and societal development.
Firstly
Linking Words
, companies generate plenty of revenue and numerous tasks because people purchase a variety of
products
Use synonyms
, which will generate multiple jobs for employees.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it is possible that the companies will build many factories in terms of storage and Production of
products
Use synonyms
 when customer demand exceeds supply.
For example
Linking Words
, the constant noddles company will develop new
products
Use synonyms
 to adapt to their customers' needs
due to
Linking Words
 the increased density of people every single year,
This
Linking Words
 can improve the economy as the rate of crime will decrease, and it will help their
countries
Use synonyms
 be secured.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, despite enhancing economic and social development, it does not mean helping the world save. I do not agree with that aspect of the environment.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, building various manufacturers will impact natural resources,
such
Linking Words
 as coats, concrete, and bricks.
In addition
Linking Words
, those suppliers generate many
products
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as vehicles, and smart devices.
This
Linking Words
 can make the environmental pollution problem worse.
For example
Linking Words
, if the governments set rules regarding increasing tax for each car, it means that natural resources are like to be impacted. They restrict some rules for protecting the environment,
otherwise
Linking Words
, natural disasters will happen to their
countries
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as earthquakes, tsunamis, and volcanoes. In conclusion, the density population will increase
due to
Linking Words
 the environmental impact,
although
Linking Words
 some of the factors that led to help
countries
Use synonyms
 aspect of economy and society.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, I believe that we need to protect ourselves as it is the first emergency in our
Use synonyms
countries
Fix the agreement mistake
country
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Develop a clear and consistent argument throughout the essay
coherence and cohesion
Improve the coherence and organization of ideas within paragraphs
What to do next:
Look at other essays: