IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The pie charts show the electricity generated in Germany and France from all sources and renewables in the year 2009. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The pie charts show the electricity generated in Germany and France from all sources and renewables in the year 2009. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#minutes #show #electricity #germany #france #sources #renewables #year #information #features #comparisons
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These pie charts demonstrate to what portion of the
electricity
 each
source
 of
power
 contributed in
two
 categories of all types and
renewables
. There are
two
 charts shown for
Germany
 and
two
 for France both of which relate to 2009. In
Germany
, conventional thermal amounted
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 almost 60% of the total
power
.
Furthermore
, nuclear was responsible for a bit over a fifth of the total energy and
lastly
,
renewables
 are the
source
 of a little below a fifth of the total
electricity
.
Moreover
, biomass and wind, combined contributed over
two thirds
Add a hyphen
two-thirds
show examples
 of
renewables
 with equal portions and the rest is provided by hydroelectric and solar energies.
On the other hand
, nuclear
power
provided
Wrong verb form
provides
show examples
 more than
three quarters
Add a hyphen
three-quarters
show examples
 of the total
electricity
.
Also
, renewable energies were held accountable for almost 13% of the whole
electricity
while
 conventional thermal only produced 10% of the
power
.
However
, hydroelectric produced nearly
four fifth
Add a hyphen
four-fifth
show examples
 of the total renewable
power
while
 wind, biomass and solar contributed way less than that.
Although
 geothermal
power
 is mentioned, it contributes almost nothing to the total
power
 whatsoever. Even though both countries use
renewables
 for only about a fifth of their total
electricity
, France relied heavily on nuclear
power
.
Instead
, conventional thermal was the most prevalent
source
 of energy in
Germany
.
Also
 among the renewable sources, hydroelectric was the dominating
source
 in France
while
 biomass and wind were the ones with the most participation in
renewables
 in
Germany
.
Submitted by a.ansari3103 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, source, power, two, renewables, germany with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "provided" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
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