IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

WRITING TASK 2 You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Today our communications, medicine and transport systems all depend on computer technology. Our reliance on computer technology in these fields has created a dangerous situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

#minutes #topic #communications #medicine #transport #systems #depend #computer #technology #reliance #fields #situation
There is no doubt that these days the importance of
computer
technology
 in all fields and industries long our lives like Communications, medicine and transport systems. The question is, why
this
technology
 has created a dangerous situation? In
this
 essay, I am going to discuss the effect of
computer
technology
 and how can we control its disadvantages if any. In terms of problems, the revolution that happened in
this
 sector affected our privacy negatively, to illustrate, a lot of
people
 for the time being could be a victim of hackers, the main reason given to support
this
 claim is that the majority of
people
 who are not well knowledgeable about it become not feeling safe and secured for their bank accounts details rather than their phones may be penetrated by the hackers
Hence
, their family photos will be in danger. In ,addition
this
 development may affect
people
's work which will be better for business owners to rely on Robots and
computer
 systems to finish their daily routine work with high efficiency and low cost compared with the monthly salaries. On the other side,
technology
 and advanced
computer
 systems could facilitate our lives.
an
Capitalize word
An
show examples
 example for that
the
Add a missing verb
is the
show examples
 transfer from on-site lectures to virtual ones during the pandemic time which affected positively the educational and business sectors as well through online meetings
instead
 of
face to face
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
show examples
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
. In conclusion, I agree with the statement that reliance on
computer
technology
 could affect
people
's lives and obligate business owners the replace
process
Fix the agreement mistake
processes
show examples
 with human skills.
Submitted by aya88.issa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: