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Band 5.5

The chart below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the worlds

The chart below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the worlds
#show #percentage #water #purposes #six #areas #world #information #features #comparisons #worlds
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The pie chart illustrates the proportion of water used for different purposes in six areas namely: North
America
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, South
America
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, Europe, Africa, Central
Asia
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 and South East
Asia
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, we can see that the percentage of water for
use
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 in central
Asia
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 is the highest.
On the other hand
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,
Linking Words
also in
Rephrase
apply
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Central
Asia
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 has the lowest proportion of water used for Agricultural
use
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 has the highest proportion in four
are
Correct your spelling
areas
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 namely Africa, Central
Asia
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, South East
Asia
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 and South
America
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.
However
Linking Words
, Agricultural
use
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 is lower than
other
Correct article usage
the other
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 two
purposed
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
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 in North
America
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 and Europe.
Move
Wrong verb form
Moving
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 to
next
Correct article usage
the next
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 detail, the
mount
Correct your spelling
amount
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 of domestic
use
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 in six countries
pretty
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is pretty
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 low. Especially the percentages in central
Asia
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 and South East
Asia
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 have the same number at 7%.
Linking Words
Finally
Add a comma
,Finally
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 Industrial
use
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 in North
America
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 and Europe is higher than
others
Change preposition
in others
show examples
.
Submitted by aesacademyforenglishstudy on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words america, asia, use with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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