Many countries have compulsory military service for young men after they leave school. It would be a good idea for all countries to adopt this system for men, and possibly for women too. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#countries #service #men #school #idea #system #women

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It is an undeniable fact that the army system is vital in numerous nations for the young man after they pass their secondary education. It would be beneficial if

this

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system was supported by all other territories. I agree with

this

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notion as it provides career opportunities and helps to reduce violations.

To begin

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with, the first and foremost reason behind

this

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tendency is that it creates more job opportunities for the masses. After passing out the school, individuals do not worry about their careers as they get a defence service that aids them in getting jobs in the squad field. To explain, when it becomes compulsory to have military service, the masses do not have any other option that helps strengthen the command.

For example

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, in many countries, most of the jobs are related to the army, which assists people to get work in these sectors that are beneficial to individuals

as well as

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nations.

Furthermore

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, the other reason behind

this

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trend is that it can help folk to learn self-defence.

As a result

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, the crime rate

also

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decreases

also

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decreases which

further

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assists in creating a noble nation.

Moreover

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, it is helpful in warning people about illegal activities so that they can tackle them without any difficulty. The individual becomes punctual and hardworking by getting army training.

For instance

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, if more and more people join the military

then

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they can build a safe environment. They can protect themselves against any crime which results in living a happy and fear-free life.

To sum up

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, in most countries joining military service is compulsory but it would be good if all nations adopted

this

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which would help them create more job facilities and a crime-free society.

Submitted by Yia on Sat Sep 02 2023

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

285 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Compulsory
Military service
Conscription
Patriotism
National security
Social equality
Discipline
Physical fitness
Life skills
Job training
Infringement
Conscripts
Gender equality
Mandatory
Economy
Education system
Labor market
Civil service
Alternative forms
Balanced view

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Many countries have compulsory military service for young men after they leave school. It would be a good idea for all countries to adopt this system for men, and possibly for women too. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Companies should provide sport and social facilities for local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some people think that the development of technology helps to reduce crime, while other people think it encourages crime. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

More and more people prefer to read e-book rather than paper books. What are the reasons for this? What problems can this cause for libraries?

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives.