We are becoming increasingly depent on computer-based technology. How do you think it will change the future? Is it good for us to rely so much on computer?

#depent #technology #change #future #computer

In our contemporary and modern society, the increasing rate of

depending

Replace the word

dependence

show examples

on computer

technologies

is undeniable. Various kinds of computer-based

electronical

Correct your spelling

electronic

gadgets would have

significant

Add an article

a significant

show examples

effect on our future in negative and positive ways.

Additionally

, relying on

computers

is good, in the event that it would not have

cosiderable

Correct your spelling

considerable

considerably

drawbacks

Change preposition

show examples

our mental and physical health.

Firstly

, modern

electronical

Correct your spelling

electronic

technologies

can change the future. In the

last

decade, numerous gadgets

such

as smartphones, laptops, personal

computers

and

electronical

Correct your spelling

electronic

wrist watches

Correct your spelling

wristwatches

show examples

, have changed our lifestyle.

For instance

due to

implementing social media and communication programs, individuals are less

concern

Replace the word

concerned

show examples

about the facial relationship with their family members and their close friends. In the future, artificial intelligence

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

change and develop

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

work conditions. Some developmental job opportunities would be invented and most labour careers would be demolished.

Additionally

, because of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

artificial intelligence improvement, individuals allocate less amounts of time to process articles and books or even to solve some complicated mathematical questions.

However

, we should not completely trust

Change preposition

apply

show examples

computers

Although

modern

technologies

have contributed

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

to a new, modern and organized world, we should believe that our mind is more powerful than any other

gadgets

Fix the agreement mistake

gadget

show examples

. People must not put away all of their responsibilities to the

computers

and they must attempt to be socially and physically active. Lack of physical activities, sedentary lifestyle, lack of communication and limited relationships are the negative drawbacks of relying on

computers

Therefore

, individuals should try to impose themselves to tackle the

obstecles

Correct your spelling

obstacles

and have a daily routine exercise. In conclusion,

newest

Correct article usage

the newest

show examples

modern

technologies

have changed our

lifes

Correct your spelling

lives

show examples

in different aspects.

Capitalize word

show examples

should be completely aware

about

Change the preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

relying on computer-based

technologies

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because they might lead us to an isolated environment and a sedentary lifestyle.

Submitted by shima.majidansari on Mon Sep 04 2023

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for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

291 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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We are becoming increasingly depent on computer-based technology. How do you think it will change the future? Is it good for us to rely so much on computer?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Nowadays, internet and television have given ordinary people a chance to become famous. Is this a positive or negative development?

It is important that we maintain and protect the beautiful building of the past, even if it is expensive for countries to do so. Do you agree with this statement?