IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

At some companies, the IT department saves a copy of all staff e-mails and monitored all web sites visited on the internet. Do you agreeor disagree that companies should be permitted to do this? Provide reasons or examples to support your opinion.

Nowadays with the advent of
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 anyone who has a
properly
Change the word
proper
show examples
 device and connection can keep in touch anytime and anywhere, including
while
Linking Words
 working. So, at some companies, the online activities of the employees are monitored, especially the application that may contain sensitive information like e-mails or
web sites
Correct your spelling
websites
show examples
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay I will discuss why I disagree
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
consequence
Correct article usage
the consequence
show examples
 of insecurity between workers and the risk of having your privacy exposed with
this
Linking Words
 attitude, knowing that privacy is a human right. In the first place, not knowing to what extent your privacy
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 being observed can generate a feeling of intimidation and fear among the team, and sometimes it is the focus of the company’s owners when thinking about productivity only. When I was working in a multinational
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Oil
& Gas
Correct your spelling
and gas
 Company, despite my boss never
told
Wrong verb form
telling
show examples
 me that my computer and my steps inside it were being controlled, I could never relax
while
Linking Words
 in front of the machine as result
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 kind of action was becoming an standard inside the business world.
Secondly
Linking Words
, when you have your online actions followed by another person you realize that one day everything you ever did can be shared without your authorization. Even though the people who
works
Change the verb form
work
show examples
 as IT in any company were hired and probably had to sign a contract including confidentiality, there is no way to know if one of them
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 a bad nature and
use
Correct subject-verb agreement
uses
show examples
these
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
datas
Correct your spelling
data
 obtained to blackmail someone. We see the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of hackers growing
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
around the world
while
Linking Words
 we just sit and wait our turn to be attacked and the movement of the firms to save these contents puts many people at risk.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 essay showed only two points inside
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 infinite
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
 why
keep
Wrong verb form
keeping
show examples
employees
Change noun form
employees'
employee's
show examples
 information
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the database of the company can generate a big problem in
near
Correct article usage
the near
show examples
 future. Personally, I learned to only do my job and anything else
while
Linking Words
 inside my work using its connections or devices.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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