IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The chart gives employment and education statistics for eight European countries in 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart gives employment and education statistics for eight European countries in 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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To whom it
my
Correct your spelling
may
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 ever concern. Based on the given data, I would like to illustrate the following points: Norway
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 was ranked number 1 Not only, in the
employment
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
, on the average
income
Use synonyms
 with the highest
income
Use synonyms
 for individuals.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
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 the gap is not big between Norway and Austria in the
employment
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 we
could
Wrong verb form
can
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 observe clearly the huge difference in the individual's average
income
Use synonyms
 which
even
Add a missing verb
was even
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 not became on the 2nd ranking, The lowest
Employment
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 was in Greece
however
Linking Words
, It's not the same position
while
Linking Words
 comparing the average
income
Use synonyms
 per individual that's mean in
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
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 of cases there are some relations between the
Employment
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 and the average
income
Use synonyms
 for each local person
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 still there are some exceptions for the rule. but no one can deny the clear relation between the
employment
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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income
Use synonyms
 as the higher average
income
Use synonyms
 for
individual
Add an article
an individual
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 is more likely linked with the countries with higher
employment
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
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.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the first paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words employment, rate, income with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • employment rate
  • education level
  • percentage
  • statistics
  • comparison
  • correlation
  • trend
  • pattern
  • outlier
  • figure
  • summarize
  • highlight
  • report
  • significant
  • relevant
  • overview
  • analyse
  • data
  • implication
  • demographic
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