The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years. Many of the problems young people now experience, such as juvenile delinquency, arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion

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Nowadays the great majority of women tend to choose a career path rather than looking after their children, which causes crimes among

younger

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the younger

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generation.

Although

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the

last

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option of taking care of kids can be right in some cases, I completely support women, who

work

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in order to achieve various purposes. Let us start by looking at the advantages of building a career for females.

Firstly

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, today they have the same position as men,

consequently

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modern development is not possible without them.

For instance

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, a lot of things were created by ladies as well many researches were completed. Marie Curie discovered radium and was the first person with a Nobel prize in two different sciences. Josephine Cochrane invented the washing machine, which makes our

life

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lives

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easier. So, why should they stay at home and do nothing? Turning to another point it is obvious, that with the help of the wife, the family can afford more things.

According to

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statistics, in Kazakhstan families, where two people

work

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are more wealthy. Maybe it is arduous for wives to

work

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, do housework and prepare dinner at the same time, but they will be sure, that with the help of their salary, kids will be in good condition.

Moreover

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, children can look at the example of their mothers and try to develop themselves. If we look at unsuccessful housewives, we are unlikely to have an impetus to learn. Taking everything into consideration, I would say that it is better for females to

work

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due to

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financial stability and an opportunity to make something crucial

Change preposition

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their lives

aida.ai2000Tue Sep 05 2023

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

evolution
domestic roles
diverse professional engagements
dual-working parents
family dynamics
juvenile delinquency
societal and economic factors
dual-income households
childcare methods
community support systems
gender roles
family responsibilities
professional aspirations
development needs
correlation
simplistic causation
workplace policies
flexible hours
parental leave
gender equality
role models
successful womanhood

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