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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the unemployment in the USA and Japan.

The graph below shows the unemployment in the USA and Japan.
The graph illustrates information about the percentage of people who were not employed in courtiers the
USA
Use synonyms
 and
Japan
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 in the period between
March
Use synonyms
 1993 and
March
Use synonyms
 1999.
Overall
Linking Words
, the rate of
Japan
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 was very low at the start of
March
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 1993 with just slightly over 2 per
cent
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. In comparison, The
USA
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 had a magnificent high proportion of unemployment with 7 per
cent
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 in the same period. The percentage of people who didn’t work in
Japan
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 was constantly and steadily increasing with a small drop in
March
Use synonyms
 1996 from 3.5 per
cent
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 to nearly 3 per
cent
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, but after that, the rate continued to rise. In
March
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 1999 the unemployment reached a peak of over 4.5 per
cent
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. Opposite to
Japan
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, the
USA
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 rates started with a high level of unemployment, but it smoothly decreased from
March
Use synonyms
 1993 from 7 per
cent
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 to just over 4 per
cent
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. The rates of the
USA
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 and
Japan
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 were in the same position in the period between 1998 and 1999 with 4.5 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in both countries.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words usa, japan, march, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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