IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what eztent do you agree or disagree? agree: - gender equality in professions - both males and females have capable of developing in the same areas.

It is widely believed that
universities
Use synonyms
 should accept equal
genders
Use synonyms
 in each subject. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 view for a variety of reasons.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, by accepting the equivalent ratio of both
males
Use synonyms
 and
females
Use synonyms
 the
universities
Use synonyms
 promote gender egalitarianism.
This
Linking Words
 means encouraging people to break their fear in order to study together without any hesitation.
For example
Linking Words
, in many countries, many
universities
Use synonyms
 enrol an equal number of
males
Use synonyms
 and
females
Use synonyms
 in order to improve the economic conditions. Nowadays,
females
Use synonyms
 are becoming as active
males
Use synonyms
 in the business and industrial sector and these
genders
Use synonyms
 work simultaneously with each other's new ideal versions.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the economies of other sectors of those countries grow in both
genders
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, if
women
Use synonyms
 only stay at home to do housework and
men
Use synonyms
 have the responsibility to study and make money, it does not create reasonable development and appears injustice in society. Gender equality in university subjects helps many different thinking to be clearly expressed.
This
Linking Words
 means that
men
Use synonyms
 often think thoughtfully and straightforwardly towards solutions,
while
Linking Words
women
Use synonyms
 have a deep, thorough and meticulous view.
For example
Linking Words
, in science class,
women
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 have same the abilities as
men
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as observation, and creativity. Sometimes,
women
Use synonyms
 are more sensitive than
men
Use synonyms
 in research.
As a result
Linking Words
, a certain research or job is researched in many diverse directions and
this
Linking Words
 is the leverage that promotes the improvement of works from many experts. In conclusion, the
universities
Use synonyms
 enrolling an equal number of
males
Use synonyms
 and
females
Use synonyms
 will improve the quality of work for both
genders
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points.
cohesion
Ensure a clear link between your ideas and paragraphs to improve overall coherence.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas and create a more formal tone.
grammatical range
Use a variety of complex grammatical structures to demonstrate a wider range of language skills.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: