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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below shows average carbon dioxide emissions per person in United Kingdom, Sweden, Italy and Portugal between 1967 and 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows average carbon dioxide emissions per person in United Kingdom, Sweden, Italy and Portugal between 1967 and 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#carbon #dioxide #emissions #person #kingdom #sweden #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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This
 figure
try
Change the verb form
tries
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 to show us how much CO2 was released by people in different parts of the world.
According to
 the graph,
United
Correct article usage
the United
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 Kingdom has the most
emissions
 in each year.
Furthermore
, Sweden had
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 sharp increase in 1977.
Moreover
, we have
sparsely
Change the word
sparse
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emissions
 in Italy and Portugal
however
, they have never reached out
Britain
Change preposition
to Britain
show examples
.
Also
, we can see decreasing the CO2
emissions
 in
sweden
Change the capitalization
Sweden
show examples
 after
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1977. After that, it was reached to Portugal's
emissions
 in 2007. By comparing these trends we can find out, Britain had the most pollution among these countries.
On the other hand
, Portugal had the least one. Swedish people were trying hard to reduce the amount of Carbon dioxide
emissions
 after 1977. But in
Italy
Add a comma
,Italy
show examples
 we can see the amount of CO2
emissions
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased. In General, it seems
Italian
Correct article usage
the Italian
show examples
 people and their government did not have any solutions for dwindling the CO2
emissions
.
However
,
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 Kingdom
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 had the solution and reduced
their
Correct the word
theirs
show examples
 suitably.
Submitted by nc.rafeeha on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words co, emissions with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reduce" was used 2 times.
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