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The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the US and Japan between March 1993 and March 1999. noticeable ملحوظ outperformed تفوق roughly بقسوه

The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the US and Japan between March 1993 and March 1999. noticeable ملحوظ outperformed تفوق roughly بقسوه
#unemployment #rates #japan #march
This
 line chart depicts the proportion of people without work in two countries:
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 States and
Japan
 during the period 1993-1999. It is clear from the graph that there was
contradiction
Add an article
a contradiction
show examples
 in the rates between the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
two nations.
According to
 what is shown, the USA had seven
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of their
workforce
 unemployed at the beginning of March 1993.
Then
, the unemployment ratio in the US began declining sharply since March 1993 and reached
5.5
Correct article usage
the 5.5
show examples
% mark in the middle of 1995 when it
remaind
Correct your spelling
remained
remains
 roughly the same for one more year. After that, the percentage of the unemployed
workforce
 in the United States dropped slightly to about 4%
at the end
 of the period. Meanwhile, the percentage of the unemployed
workforce
 in
Japan
 grew gradually from 2.2
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 to 3.5
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in the first three years
whereas
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 fluctuated for the next two at about the same figure. By the end of 1999, the unemployment
rates
Fix the agreement mistake
rate
show examples
 in
Japan
 reached its peak at 4.5% which was
larger
Correct article usage
a larger
show examples
proprtion
Correct your spelling
proportion
 than
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
.
To sum up
, we could say that
Correct article usage
the numbers
show examples
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of unemployed in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 decreased by about 2.0% in the course of six years
while
 in
Japan
 it increased by 2.5%. As a
sesult
Correct your spelling
result
, in March 99, both
Japan
 and
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
their
workforce
unemployed
Add a missing verb
were unemployed
show examples
.
Submitted by Lamaalkhelaiwi on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words japan, workforce with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Unemployment rate
  • Trend
  • Comparison
  • Period
  • Sharp increase/decrease
  • Correlation
  • Economic policies
  • Technological advancements
  • Global economic conditions
  • Consumer spending
  • Social welfare
  • Public sentiment
  • Predictions
  • Economic strategies
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