IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Task 2 Some people feel that entertainers ( eg film stars, pop musicians or sport stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of job should be highly paid?

#people #entertainers #eg #film #stars #pop #musicians #sport #money #job
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Nowadays, all over the world, the question if Entertainers earn too much money is omnipresent.
While
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 some
people
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 think the advantages of stars are paid too much, others
people
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 think the advantages of other kinds of
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 should be paid higher. From my point of view, I think both perspectives are valid for the reasons discussed below. On the one hand, as far as famous
people
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 have a high income ,
firstly
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, to a large extent, especially in modern times, no matter where in the world you live, entertainers deserve to get highly paid
due to
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 the
fact
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 they cannot have a private life, because of the paparazzi, leading to living expose of gossips newspapers.
In addition
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, they can generate a lot of money for the industry resulting from the
fact
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 that they earn a lot.
On the other hand
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, there are reasons that other jobs should be highly paid. First and foremost, by and large,
people
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 with a long cursus should be highly paid, on account of the
fact
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 they have important jobs with responsibilities
such
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 as doctor or nurse, and they can save lives.
Secondly
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, and most importantly for me,
Farmer
Fix the agreement mistake
farmers
show examples
 might earn highly paid
due to
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 the
fact
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 that they produce food for everybody on earth, in spite of the
fact
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that is
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 really physical employment.
Furthermore
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, in
this
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 modern society, a lot of
people
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 want to become a star on social media but without farmers, nobody can eat. In conclusion,
while
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 some
people
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 think entertainers having high pay is normal, others say that other jobs should earn a high salary.
However
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, In my opinion, both perspectives have value for the above-mentioned reasons.
Submitted by tony.vantroo on

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