IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The given pie charts illustrate the proportions of three types of
nutrients
Use synonyms
 which are
sodium
Use synonyms
, saturated fat and added
sugar
Use synonyms
 in daily
meals
Use synonyms
 in the United States of America. It should be considered that eating too much of these
nutrients
Use synonyms
 can be harmful to our health condition. As an overview, both
sodium
Use synonyms
 and saturated fat are their most popularities for
consumption
Use synonyms
 at dinner.
In contrast
Linking Words
, adding
sugar
Use synonyms
 is more consumed for snacks among other types of
meals
Use synonyms
. The lowest rate of usage of all the given categories belongs to the breakfasts. As it can be observed,
however
Linking Words
 the highest percentage of
consumption
Use synonyms
 of
sodium
Use synonyms
 and saturated fat belongs to dinner
meals
Use synonyms
 with 43% and 37% respectively,
this
Linking Words
 meal only contains 23% of the added
sugar
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
population
Use synonyms
. For
this
Linking Words
 specific ingredient which is added
sugar
Use synonyms
, the highest proportion of usage belongs to snacks with 42% of the consumer
population
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 mentioned part of daily meal has the third rank of
consumption
Use synonyms
population
Use synonyms
 in two other described
nutrients
Use synonyms
. On the one hand, in spite of being the second rank of consuming
population
Use synonyms
 for both
sodium
Use synonyms
 and saturated fat, lunch has the third rank in using added
sugar
Use synonyms
 among other
meals
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the meal that uses all of these
nutrients
Use synonyms
 least among others is breakfast with 14%, 16% and 16% for
sodium
Use synonyms
, saturated fat and added
sugar
Use synonyms
 respectively.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast".
▼
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words nutrients, sodium, sugar, meals, consumption, population with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • nutrients
  • unhealthy
  • typical meals
  • percentages
  • saturated fats
  • fibers
  • sugars
  • impact
  • average
  • consumption
  • trends
  • breakfast
  • lunch
  • dinner
  • highest
  • lowest
  • variation
  • implications
  • balanced diet
  • recommendations
What to do next:
Look at other essays: