The maps below shoe an industrial area in the town of Norbition, and planned future developement of the site. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparsions where relevant.

The maps below shoe an industrial area in the town of Norbition, and planned future developement of the site.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparsions where relevant.
If the door of communication leads to
a
Change the article
an
show examples
immense desert
then
the key is
languages
, they lead us to the oasis with the beautiful scenes. Since I was little, the charm of
languages
appeal
Wrong verb form
has appealed
show examples
to me a lot. Aside from English, Spanish became my
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
subject because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it is one of the most practical
language
Change to a plural noun
languages
show examples
and
Add a missing verb
has the
show examples
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
important status on the international stage. I admire their culture a lot,
to
Correct word choice
and to
show examples
understand it and apply
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
real life
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
me feel a sense of accomplishment. As we can only attend the Spanish course in one semester at my school, I study on my own. Learning my third
languages
Fix the agreement mistake
language
show examples
let me extend my comfort zone (Mandarin and English).
Although
it is similar
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
English, its grammar is more difficult.
For instance
, there are two
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
verbs and
different
Add an article
the different
show examples
subject has
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
usage, they are really hard to memorize and utilize correctly. Learning
this
language doesn't let me feel exhausted.
Instead
, I gain lots of energy from it. Through studying Spanish, I could cultivate another interest. After
having
Verb problem
being
show examples
sensitive to numbers and immersed in calculations all day. As far as I
an
Correct your spelling
am
show examples
concerned, the significance of words
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
also
important and can not
be omit
Change the verb form
be omitted
show examples
.
In addition
to
enter
Wrong verb form
entering
show examples
the University of California to pursue my future career, I hope to develop not only
the
Change the word
my
show examples
abilities
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
languages
but
also
my atmosphere of
humanisms
Fix the agreement mistake
humanism
show examples
with
Change preposition
through
show examples
interactions with diverse people that I can get at my high school. Through language studies courses, I know that many of which were
profession
Replace the word
professional
show examples
at UC schools
as well as
the extracurricular student groups, I think that I could understand different cultures and societies.
Furthermore
, by conversing with them, I would be more studious and curious about what
happen
Correct subject-verb agreement
happens
show examples
in the world, not just in books.
This
is my biggest advantage.
Submitted by skin1119 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the first paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words languages with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 1 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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