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Band 7

Most high level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 percent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree?

#level #positions #companies #men #workforce #countries #percent #percentage #women
Nowadays, it is becoming common for
men
 to get high-level
positions
 in companies even though there is more than a half per cent female in many developed countries.
However
, corporations should allocate a certain proportion of these
positions
 to
women
. In fact, I firmly agree with
this
 statement for 2 main reasons. The first reason why allocating a certain proportion of the position to
women
 is gender equality. It will be not fair if
women
 can not get the same position as
men
.
Women
 need the same opportunities as
men
. By offering the same opportunities as males in high-level
positions
,
females
 would not rely more on males.
For instance
, a mother who becomes an employee does not need to wait for her husband's monthly salary to fulfil their daily needs. They can
also
 help their family's finances better.
As a result
, many
females
 can improve their family lives. The following reason is
females
 are good managers. It is believed that
females
 can manage things better than
men
. They can even multitask
while
 doing work. It
also
 makes them solve problems effectively. It will bring many profits if corporations can hire more
women
 in greater
positions
. For illustration, a female manager handles the budget problem on the projects effectively. They can solve the problem because she already has prior knowledge of handling money as their role as mothers and wives at home who manage expenses weekly.
To sum up
,
although
 offering a greater position to
men
 will bring positive effects, having
women
 in high-level
positions
 helps the corporation and family improve quickly.
Therefore
, having considered the benefits, I am strongly convinced that hiring
women
 to fill greater
positions
 is a wise decision.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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