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Band 3.5

the best way to cut down crime rate is by building more prisons and giving longer sentences. do you agree or disagree?

#crime #rate #prisons #sentences
Nowadays criminal prisons
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 a common problem ,
However
 , there are a number of
people
 who think making more prisons will solve many problems, Personally,I agree with
this
 opinion and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will explore more in
this
 essay to explain my view. There are many
people
 who imagine that , can increase the proportion of crimes in society because, they think that can help the government to punishment small crime
Rephrase
apply
show examples
also
, exemplify, as drinking ALcohol, which
beginning
Wrong verb form
begin
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many crimes later,
Moreover
 , building
a
Correct article usage
apply
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new prison help criminals to have space to not connect with others and stop learning from them, Another point is that will make criminal to save his rights in prison,especially teenagers and good management in persons.
On the other hand
 , their many
people
 who contrast
this
 opinion even though it has a lot of benefits , Why? because they believe that spending a lot of income of a country , and the second reason the government should be strict with criminals to reduce the figure of it ,
in addition
,
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 keep public to respects safe and pace . In conclusion, in my eye view, I strongly agree with building more prisons to save the rights of criminals specifically a small age ,to give them another chance to be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
people
 in the future and beneficial his society .
Submitted by Ssaraan2017 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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