IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

In most successful companies, some people think that communicaton between employers and workers is the most important factor. Other people say that other factors are more important.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#companies #people #communicaton #employers #workers #factor #factors
Communication
 between employers and employees is recognised as the most important factor in successful companies. Some opponents argue that other
factors
 like
management
decisions
 and financial control are
also
 more important. In
this
 essay, the editor sheds some light on both views and expresses his opinions.
To begin
 with,
communication
 between the
company
 and staff is one of the important
factors
 to lead firm success. Diversified
communication
 channels are built within the department and
management
 team.
This
 advice can promote the
company
 to have healthy and sustainable development.
In addition
, team building between general staff and top
management
 is
also
 used to enhance the working atmosphere. It
also
 helps to improve the working efficiency.
On the other hand
, some argue that financial controlling and
management
decisions
 are other
factors
 that to lead firm success. Chief executive teams can make different
company
 development directions based on economic forecasts and the firm's annual budgeting even coming advanced product inventions. When
company
 leaders make false financial
decisions
, it may cause businesses to turn down even bankruptcy can occur. When some risks are encountered, the decision by smart leaders can be mitigated and able to change the dilemmas.
To conclude
,
according to
 the previous passage mentioned and the editor's opinion, there are multiple important
factors
 like
communication
 between employers and workers, fiscal control and
decisions
 of
management
 are
also
 important to lead the
company
 to success and can
be lasted
Wrong verb form
last
show examples
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
 longer time.
Submitted by ieltswriter on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: