some people decide to start their own business instead of working for a company or organization. Do the advantage outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays,more and more
people
would rather start their own business rather than
working
Replace the word
work
show examples
for others.In spite of the risks,I reckon that the
benifit
Correct your spelling
benefits
benefit
will
more
Add a missing verb
be more
show examples
than the defect. There are three reasons why
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
said that there are more advantages to
set
Wrong verb form
setting
show examples
up their own
firm
.One of the
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
is that to some extent, all
people
are striving for social status.If they become
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
entrepreneur,they could make more
money
and they can spend
money
traveling the world so that broaden their horizon and learn more about international trade.Or invest more to prove the product.These can make
firm
Correct article usage
a firm
show examples
competitive and have a place in the market.It means that the employer can improve their social status.What’s more,it
also
shows that It is impossible for them to listen to others.So they can be more
indepent
Correct your spelling
independent
and
use
their own talents or knowledge to make
desion
Correct your spelling
decisions
decision
.
People
can feel
satisfaction
Add an article
the satisfaction
show examples
of themselves.The
last
reason is that by setting own
company
,they have to manage the labour and consult with
other factory
Change the wording
another factory
other factories
show examples
to cooperate with
eacho oter
Correct your spelling
each other
.So it can improve their social and leadership skills.
On the other hand
,starting their own
company
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
two main disadvantages that should be considerable.The first one is that it should
use
amoung of
money
to keep the
firm
surviving.
For example
,if the entrepreneur
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
the wrong decision ,the
firm
may experience the
risks
Fix the agreement mistake
risk
show examples
of
bankrupt
Replace the word
bankruptcy
show examples
.At the same
time
, they have to invest more
money
to make sure the
firm
still
survive
Correct subject-verb agreement
survives
show examples
.The other one is that the boss
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
to work for
long
Change the article
a long
show examples
time
and consider more factors that may influence the
company
.So in order to avoid information failure , the
entreprenure
Correct your spelling
entrepreneur
entrepreneurs
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
to think about the market trend.
To sum up
, I believe that if they want to have higher status ,more skills and want to
use
more of their talents ,
Wrong verb form
starting
show examples
start
Wrong verb form
starting
show examples
their own
company
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
Correct article usage
a greater
show examples
greater
Correct article usage
a greater
show examples
advantage.
However
,they need to
use
more leisure
time
to work and keep
firm
surving
Correct your spelling
serving
.So it would not be suit for
people
who care about
the
Change the word
their
show examples
spare
time
.
Submitted by melindaguan0704 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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