IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

In recent times, economic growth has helped many become richer, both in developed and developing countries. However, those in developed countries are not as happy as they were in the past. Why is this? What can be learned from this? (Write 250 words.) ________

#times #growth #countries #________
It is apparent that currently,the financial upswing has impacted many
countries
 that have good cash flow in developed and developing
countries
. By the way, the developed sites feel unfair once compared to the past. From my point of view, we can learn many things that are described in the following paragraph. It is truly (true)to say that right now the global economy is getting richer because developing
countries
 support each other.
Then
, they have been doing agreements about trade wars with big
countries
.
For example
, Southeast Asia became the ASEAN to negotiate with China or the EU about import and export. So,
this
 leads to the Asian benefit of the prices when they order or exchange goods.
Furthermore
, right now the information or data is easy to review
by
Change preposition
via
show examples
 internet platforms, the developing
countries
 can understand more and faster than before had
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
.
Addinally
Correct your spelling
Additionally
(
additionally
), right now the parents of developing
countries
 earn a lot of money that can support their own
cheriends
Correct your spelling
friends
cherries
 (children),
study
Correct word choice
and study
show examples
 abroad
such
 as in the USA, The UK etc. After they
finished
Wrong verb form
finish
show examples
 their degree. They have English ability and a high standard at university.
Then
,
heading
Wrong verb form
they head
show examples
 back to their
countries
 and
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
 for an international company in their hometown. They have the efficiency of working the same as the
head
office
 in developed
countries
 in some positions
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 for VP to compare the wage per hour to think twice about cost saving of some positions between the brunch in southeast
asia
Change the capitalization
Asia
show examples
(Asia) vs their
head
office
, why VP should pay salary higher than in their country once the output of working is same. In summary, it is not surprising that educated
countries
 don’t like the developing economy nowadays.
Firstly
, they support and group ASEAN to have more strong points to negotiate with China or the USA in terms of import and export goods.
Secondary
Replace the word
Secondly
show examples
,
New
Correct article usage
the New
show examples
 generation
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 Thailand, Indonesia and Vietnam
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
show examples
studying
Change the verb form
to study
show examples
 abroad
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they have
ability
Add an article
the ability
show examples
of working
Replace the preposition
to work
show examples
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 as
head
Correct article usage
the head
show examples
office
 and the rate of money per hour
lower
Add a missing verb
is lower
show examples
 than in developed
countries
.
Finally
, once
head
Correct article usage
the head
show examples
office
 in the USA
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 to downsize
organization
Correct article usage
the organization
show examples
, Now a day some company will eliminate their own employee
base
Wrong verb form
based
show examples
 on
cost
Correct article usage
the cost
show examples
 per unit in developing lower than them that
why
Add a missing verb
is why
show examples
 people in developed
countries
 feel hate or unfair
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
 situation.
Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on

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