IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Many people argu that in order to improve educational quality, high school students are encouraged to make comments or even criticism on their teachers. Other think it will lead to loss of respect and discipline in the classroom. Discuss both views and give your Opinion.

#people #argu #quality #school #students #comments #criticism #teachers #loss #respect #discipline #classroom
It is obvious that education is directly connected to
countries'development
Correct your spelling
development
 so in order to improve a country the educational system must be improved. But it has always been
debatable
Correct article usage
a debatable
show examples
 topic how governments should arrange educational policy. Because almost all
people
 have different thoughts on
this
 topic. Especially
people
 comment on connections between
teachers
 and
students
, it is because of that these two groups play main roles in education. There are different arguments
whether
Change preposition
about whether
show examples
students
 can criticise their
teachers
 or
it
Correct word choice
whether it
show examples
 can be disrespectful. I strongly believe that
students
 are free to tell their own thoughts. On the one hand, it is true that
teachers
 can be more experienced and mature than
students
. But it doesn't mean that everything they say is true. Sometimes educated
people
 can
also
 have some mistakes or false beliefs. Or their way of thinking may be different than their
students
. In that
case
Add a comma
,case
show examples
students
 should absolutely be free to make their own comments and defend their attitudes. It helps them to be more confident when they express their feelings and thoughts.
On the other hand
, those who think it is a reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 losing respect between
teachers
 and their
students
 can be right in some aspects. Generally,
students
 in high schools are not very mature and they can use some rude words in order to express themselves or to criticise someone. Using inappropriate expressions against
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
 can cause
losing
Verb problem
a loss of
show examples
 respect
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
 and it would create chaotic classrooms.
To conclude
, not only
students
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
 all
people
 are free to make comments, criticise things that are not logical for them and to give their ideas. It is possible that
students
 don't like their
teachers
' ideas, but they must respect them and discuss whatever they want with
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
polite language.
Submitted by jeyranmurshudlu on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: