IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

ome people believe that the advent of economical air travel has been beneficial by making international travel more accessible, while others argue that is has had a very negative impact. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#ome #people #advent #air #travel #impact
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Nowadays many people are concerned about
abundant
Correct article usage
the abundant
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 amount of time spent on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mobile
phones
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.
Somebody
Correct your spelling
Some
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 even
compares
Correct subject-verb agreement
compare
show examples
 the harmful influence of mobile
phones
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 to smoking and suggest prohibiting
it's
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 usage in some places. I strongly disagree with that statement since mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 have
became
Change the verb form
become
show examples
 an essential part of our daily life and can not be equal
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
such
Linking Words
 a bad habit as smoking. First of all, smoking is harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 people's health in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
long-run
Correct your spelling
long run
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 and it
is
Wrong verb form
has been
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proved
Correct your spelling
proven
show examples
 by many health organisations. Nicotine is poisonous
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 humans' lungs and heart
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and can lead to many dangerous diseases
such
Linking Words
 as cancer. The usage of mobile phone obviously affect humans' vision,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
,however
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 it can not be compared to
toxicity
Add an article
the toxicity
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 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nicotine.
Moreover
Linking Words
, we are living in the century of digitalisation and all our life related to our mobile
phones
Use synonyms
. Communication, maps, wallet, work - all these things can be reached in one thing called 'cell phone'. Banning
such
Linking Words
 gadgets will probably cause complexity in our daily lives since we are already
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
 used to an easy lifestyle where all necessary things are on our
phones
Use synonyms
.
Last
Linking Words
, but not least, smoking is known as a bad habit, but not everybody smokes,
while
Linking Words
 mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 are used by almost every person on the earth.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it is difficult to conduct
such
Linking Words
prohibition
Correct article usage
a prohibition
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 legally, so every person will be able to follow the
low
Correct your spelling
law
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it will bring problems
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 every business in the world since people would not understand how to
fastly
Rephrase
quickly
show examples
 adapt to
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
new conditions without mobile
phones
Use synonyms
.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • sustainable travel
  • carbon footprint
  • mass tourism
  • cultural exchange
  • economic boost
  • budget airlines
  • ecological repercussions
  • noise pollution
  • cultural commodification
  • democratization of travel
  • heritage conservation
  • climate change
  • tourist influx
  • environmental stewardship
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