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Band 3.5

More and more people are moving from rural areas to cities in search of better life, but city has its own problems. Why do you think they move to cities? Suggest solutions

#people #areas #cities #search #life #city #move
Nowadays there is a huge amount of
people
 dramatically
emigrate
Wrong verb form
emigrating
show examples
 from rural
areas
 to modern cities, leading to the overload of public facilities usage. The relevant factors will be discussed in the essay below To
being
Verb problem
begin
show examples
 with, the main reason is the unbalanced distribution of work. As I know most high industries
have
Verb problem
pay
show examples
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
attention to
locate
Change the verb form
locating
show examples
 near necessary
areas
 and resources especially
trading
Correct article usage
the trading
show examples
 market. Unfortunately most of them are
locate
Change the form of the verb
located
show examples
 in the urban
areas
therefore
people
 who expect to have high
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
 are changing their careers
have
Correct word choice
and have
show examples
 to move to the modern cities
on the other hand
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the countryside doesn't have enough infrastructure facilities
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
 they don't have enough public transport.
Due to
 the
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
conviniences
Correct your spelling
conveniences
convenience
 of urban area's majority of
people
trying
Wrong verb form
try
show examples
 to move to the cities with their families. To solve these problems the government should take necessary actions to build up new job opportunities and develop infrastructure facilities in the countryside.
In
addition
Add a comma
,addition
show examples
 they just encourage
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 to establish
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rural
areas
 In conclusion, change is
invetable
Correct your spelling
inevitable
 everybody likes to have a good life , the government should
be recognize
Change the verb form
recognize
show examples
 their necessities and need to support them to find new job opportunities.
Submitted by spiyumalee on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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