Nowadays, there is a greater focus at all levels in education on science and business studies rather than the arts. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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There are plenty of subjects we might

learned

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learn

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from school,

however

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, people put more attention on the education of

science

Use synonyms

and business (trade) studies than the arts in recent years. As my personal notion , I think

this

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situation has a positive impact on our society, and the following content will describe the advantages of

this

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opinion.

Firstly

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, learning business

concept

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concepts

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can assist children to realise the importance and usage of money. In current society,

the

Correct article usage

apply

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currency

takes

Verb problem

plays

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a major part in our daily

life

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lives

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, we use it not only

for paying

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to pay

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the cost of living but

also

Linking Words

for the accumulation of our future fortune.

As a result

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, building a basic concept of economy will be important for the teenager's career.

For example

Linking Words

, after knowing the knowledge

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apply

show examples

, children won't waste their pocket money on useless or costly products,

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apply

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helpful and worthwhile

option

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options

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will be taken. , is the basic motivation for the human culture to move forward. The core of the is

explore

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to explore

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and expand the unknown area,

furthermore

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, the innovative inventions which support our convenient lifestyle are

also

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built by the scientists. A greater

grow

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growth

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for

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show examples

children's

brain

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brains

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and capacity

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for

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creativity will

develope

Correct your spelling

develop

, after absorbing the scientific way of education.

For example

Linking Words

, before learning the knowledge of

science

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, Thomas

Adison

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Edison

was merely a naughty boy in the class,

in contrast

Linking Words

, taking a look

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show examples

the

achievement

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achievements

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he made in his life,

the

Correct article usage

apply

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science

Use synonyms

really

broaden

Wrong verb form

broadened

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his

horizon

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horizons

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. In conclusion, both

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apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

science

Use synonyms

and business have a strong, positive and practical influence

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show examples

contemporary

Add an article

the contemporary

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community. In my opinion, if the youth generation can learn

these information

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this information

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from school, it will have a huge and positive impact

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show examples

their future and our society.

youn.21Wed Sep 13 2023

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grammar

Ensure subject-verb agreement and check for grammatical errors to improve clarity. For example, 'we might learned from school' should be 'we might learn from school.'

cohesion

Work on providing clearer transitions between ideas. This can help guide the reader through your argument. For instance, use phrases like 'Furthermore' or 'In addition' to better connect your points.

content

Develop your points further with more specific examples and deeper explanation. This will help solidify your arguments and improve your overall task response score.

content

You have identified a clear viewpoint that science and business studies are beneficial, which is an important aspect of task achievement.

structure

Your essay presents a structured format with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which supports coherence and logical flow.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

287 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

economic development
innovation
job creation
practical skills
employable
technological advancements
quality of life
creativity
cultural landscape
well-rounded society
holistic education
critical thinking
emotional development
interdisciplinary
novel solutions
social inequality
mental health
wellbeing
expression
stress relief

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Nowadays, there is a greater focus at all levels in education on science and business studies rather than the arts. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Does this trend have positive or negative effects on society?

In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Billions of dollars are being wasted on space research. The money used could be better if used to improving condition on people on earth. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In today's competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents to go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents' absence. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.