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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some organizations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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There are a variety of factors that organizations use to evaluate the ability of
employees
Use synonyms
. A set of companies
believes
Correct subject-verb agreement
believe
show examples
 that workers should pay attention to their appearance when showing up; meanwhile, others consider the outcomes of work
are
Change the verb form
to be
show examples
 much more important. In my opinion, I strongly agree with both ways of thinking
due to
Linking Words
 the following reasons. First of all, it’s worth noticing that some organizations impose regulations regarding uniforms for their
employees
Use synonyms
 to ensure they always show up with an appropriate appearance.
For example
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, those working in the hospitality field need to wear
close
Replace the word
closed
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 shoes, tie
hair
Correct pronoun usage
their hair
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 up properly and no
jewelry
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jewellery
show examples
 on.
Furthermore
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, the necessity of following dress code or uniform requirements is an important key to the individuals
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
in charge of some positions, especially in the field of customer service,
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
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 to interact face-to-face with clients.
Thus
Linking Words
, customers’ first impression might be caught by the visuals of the
employees
Use synonyms
 as they consider
this
Linking Words
is
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
 a way of showing respect to the ones they communicate with.
On the other hand
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, many companies highly value the outcomes displayed by the workers rather than their way of dressing
sicne
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since
the
Correct article usage
apply
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creativity and productivity are the fundamental factors that contribute to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
overal
Correct your spelling
overall
 success.
For example
Linking Words
, some departments work mostly with technologies or interact with others via the internet or smart devices, so they prefer a comfortable environment to be
full concentrate
Replace the word
fully concentrated
show examples
 in order to conduct a well-qualified performance. With that being taken into account, enforcing a dress code might cause a reduction
of
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in
show examples
 productivity which has a negative impact on the growth of the organization. In conclusion, wearing proper
pieces of
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apply
show examples
garments is quite important for several types of
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
,
however
Linking Words
, displaying a good performance and focusing on profit are much more vital. The organization should heed the requirement of
uniform
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uniforms
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
employees
Use synonyms
 so they can dress
accordingly
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.

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