IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below provides the amount of books which were borrowed in four various months in 2014 from four village libraries, with the pie chart indicating the proportion of books that were borrowed over this period.

The graph below provides the amount of books which were borrowed in four various months in 2014 from four village libraries, with the pie chart indicating the proportion of books that were borrowed over this period.
#amount #books #four #months #village #libraries #proportion #period
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The graph below provides the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
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 of
books
Use synonyms
 which were borrowed in four various months in 2014 from four village libraries, with the pie chart indicating the proportion of
books
Use synonyms
 that were borrowed over
this
Linking Words
 period. As can be seen from the line graph, there had been
a sharp fluctuations
Correct the article-noun agreement
sharp fluctuations
a sharp fluctuation
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 for only Ryeslip which
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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differed considerably from the other
books
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, the highest and the lowest features reached
to
Change preposition
apply
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300 and 100 of stuff respectively.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the rates for the other three kinds come by gradual changes: upward and downward. As regards the
first,
Linking Words
West Eaton and Church Mount
both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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were almost equal to each other.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, these
occured
Correct your spelling
are
 the same figures in June and September in comparison with Jule and August. It is clear from the pie chart that Fiction is rated as a popular sort of book for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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debt among the majority of all borrowed
books
Use synonyms
, with
a
Correct article usage
apply
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just 43 per cent from
ocupying
Correct your spelling
occupying
 people.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words books with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "provides" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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