Write about the following topic: Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#topic #sales #consumer #goods #power #society

Nowadays, some products are being sold by famous brands and

companies

This

could

because

Add a missing verb

be because

show examples

of the

power

advertisemet

Correct your spelling

advertising

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

peoples'

Change noun form

people's

show examples

decisions which would force them to purchase some

goods

, which are unnecessary for them in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

. I

completly argree

Correct your spelling

completely agree

with

this

statements

Fix the agreement mistake

statement

show examples

and I think we live in a community,

which

Change preposition

in which

show examples

every one

Replace the word

everyone

show examples

just

think

Change the verb form

thinks

show examples

about their benefits. Huge businesses and big

companies

invest a

big

Correct word choice

large

show examples

amount of their budget on advertisement, so

their

Change the word

the

show examples

biggest parts of their sales

Change the verb form

are

show examples

because of that.

Firstly

, we see numerous billboards whole of our city, in some public places and even high

ways

Correct your spelling

highways

show examples

, which they advertise

goods

and facilities.

This

show

Change the verb form

shows

show examples

the

power

of advertising to make our minds busy with

that

Correct determiner usage

those

show examples

products. In order to do that, the rate of sales would be grown in that specific

companies

Fix the agreement mistake

company

show examples

Secondly

, adolescents and students are looking for new

trend

Fix the agreement mistake

trends

show examples

and they would be affected by their

favorite

Change the spelling

favourite

show examples

celebrities sooner

that

Correct word choice

than

show examples

adults. Providing that they see an advertisement

between

Change preposition

show examples

their

favorite

Change the spelling

favourite

show examples

TV-show

Correct your spelling

TV show

show examples

or on their social media page, which

Change preposition

apply

show examples

that their beloved actor,actress or football player advertises a new video game or even a piece of

clothes

Wrong verb form

clothing

show examples

, they

completly

Correct your spelling

completely

affect by that and they would ask their parent to provide that product, even if it is not crucial.

Furthermore

, In my opinion, the governments should fund some

companies

' advertisements which their

goods

are new for both

society

and individuals. Because of the

power

of global and

western

Capitalize word

Western

show examples

businesses, some local start-ups which they try their best to implement fashionable and modern

product

Fix the agreement mistake

products

show examples

would

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

disappeard

Correct your spelling

disappear

For instance

, we have numerous start-ups run by new-graduated university students and they have

variety

Add an article

a variety

show examples

of products

such

as new technologies,

electronical

Correct your spelling

electronic

gadgets or even new electrical

pices

Correct your spelling

pieces

prices

for home

enchores

Correct your spelling

chores

encores

. If the government does not

assisst

Correct your spelling

assist

them

to introduce

Change preposition

in introducing

show examples

their

goods

, they might

loose

Replace the word

lose

show examples

their motivation, which

Correct your spelling

show examples

unefficient

Correct your spelling

inefficient

for both

society

and local communities. In conclusion, because of the

Replace the word

advertising

show examples

power

of some big and global

companies

, the new start-ups would be damaged in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

and people might purchase some facilities which they do not play an

impotant

Correct your spelling

important

role in their lives

as well as

society

Submitted by shima.majidansari on Thu Sep 14 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
42Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

363 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Write about the following topic: Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

many people are now opting to provide technology companies with their personal data in exchange for access for software Do the advantage of this outweigh the disadvanages?

The picture below shows the use of renewable energy accounting the total energy from 1971 to 2006.

In the future, all cars, buses, and trucks will be driverless. The only people traveling inside these vehicles will be passengers

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that in today`s world subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both of these views and give your opinion.

Vehicles using alternative fuel have been available since the past few years, yet they are not common on the roads. What are the reasons for this? How can people be encouraged to use these vehicles?