Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#university #students #subjects #addition #time #attention #qualification

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The academic curriculum in the university requires it to be relevant to one’s chosen field. It is the opinion of others that some schools should focus on learning other subjects

together with

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the main ones

while

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others oppose it. In

this

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essay, I will discuss both standpoints and briefly state my side with regard to

this

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proposition. First of all, going to school means a person’s role is to learn and be knowledgeable. Being exposed to and involved not only in main subjects but

also

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in other alternative topics may improve their mental, social and practical skills, which are important for work qualifications.

For example

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, incorporating general psychology will definitely aid people to be emphatic and be trained to adapt to coworkers.

Moreover

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, an introduction to stocks and tax will improve an individual’s skill of saving and investing their money.

On the other hand

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, attending the school’s time and attention to preparing students for qualification will support them in the bits and pieces of the work they will be choosing in the future. It gives them more opportunities to try and experience the real side of their job. Including lessons related to their occupation will prepare them for doing work tasks and taking their roles appropriately and accurately.

For example

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, including numerous mathematical equations and logical analysis will help a student to be an engineer or be trained in hospitals if they would like to be a nurse or medical practitioner.

To sum up

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, it will have affectations on an individual’s life. Personally speaking, I support the viewpoint of having minor courses to expand a person’s knowledge and build more possibilities that may add to their experiences before entering the real world.

Submitted by Andrea Barreto on Fri Sep 15 2023

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Language range and accuracy

To further enhance your essay, consider weaving more complex structures and varied vocabulary into your sentences to showcase a broad range of language skills.

Developing arguments

It might be beneficial to delve deeper into the implications and consequences of each viewpoint. Adding more depth to your arguments can make your essay even more persuasive and engaging.

Task Achievement

Your essay excellently addressed the task by discussing both views on the importance of studying a range of subjects versus focusing solely on one’s main field of study. You provided a balanced discussion before stating your own opinion, aligning well with the task requirements.

Coherence and Cohesion

You demonstrated strong coherence and cohesion throughout your essay, with a logical structure that flowed smoothly from introduction to conclusion. Each paragraph clearly addressed a specific aspect of the topic, supported by relevant examples.

8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

282 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Broaden
Perspectives
Specialize
Critical thinking
Problem-solving skills
Career success
Interdisciplinary connections
Structured path
Clear goals
Creativity
Innovation
Academic credibility
Recognition
Balance
Exploring

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Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

While many people go to university for academic study, more people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. Do you agree or disagree?

The governments should give each citizen a basic income so that they have enough money to live on, even if they are unemployed. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Topic 2: These days many families move to other countries for work. Some people believe that the children in these families benefit from this move. However, others believe that it makes life more difficult for the children. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.