Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #governments #ban #sports #freedom #activity

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It is argued that

extrim

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extreme

sport

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is better to prevent by

government

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the government

show examples

while

Linking Words

other

people

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said everyone

have

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has

show examples

their right to choose and do whatever activities they like. I think doing

extrim

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extreme

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sport

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sports

show examples

harmfull

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harmful

;

however

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people

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have their own perspective in

term

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terms

show examples

of choosing and doing sports.

This

Linking Words

essay will elaborate more about both

perspective

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perspectives

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

the following paragraph. On the one hand, dangerous

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sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

have myriad

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apply

show examples

negative

effect

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effects

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

Correct article usage

the physic

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physic

Replace the word

physical

show examples

mental

Correct word choice

and mental

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and somehow

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they

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will be

last

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This

Linking Words

is why

government

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the government

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should

arranged

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arrange

show examples

strick

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strict

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regulation

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regulations

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regarding

with

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apply

show examples

health issues and

others

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other

show examples

injuries.

For those

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Those

show examples

who run

extreem

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extreme

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sport

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sports

show examples

such

Linking Words

bungi

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bungee

jumping and motor cross should

be encourage

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be encouraged

show examples

to provide

strick

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strict

show examples

regulation

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regulations

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according

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toaccording

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criteria for their visitor who

were

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are

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able to play that

kind

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kinds

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sport

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in order to minimalize any

accident

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accidents

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Thus

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, any unwanted accident might be prevented by

this

Linking Words

approach.

On the other hand

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, doing

extrim

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extreme

sport

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could

be relate

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be related

show examples

with

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show examples

hobby

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the hobby

a hobby

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and

this

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become

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becomes

show examples

main

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the main

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reason

people

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get engaged in it. Others

also

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this

Linking Words

sport

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to cure some

desease

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diseases

spesificaly

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specifically

for those with

spesific

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specific

phobia

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phobias

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it will be a better

theraphy

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therapy

As a

Linking Words

result

Add a comma

,result

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rather than consuming drugs it will be

practical

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a practical

show examples

way to be

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apply

show examples

healthier. I believe, despite some

phisical

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physical

effect

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effects

show examples

resulted

Wrong verb form

resulting

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from

extrem

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extreme

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sport

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sports

show examples

, it

also

Linking Words

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

Correct article usage

a postive

show examples

postive

Correct your spelling

positive

side which is they can express themselves well.

To sum up

Linking Words

Goverment

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government

may put some

regulation

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regulations

show examples

in order to reduce any negative

effect

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effects

show examples

;

however

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

are encouraged to do their

favorite

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favourite

show examples

activities as long as

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

have

direct

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a direct

show examples

benefit

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benefits

show examples

towards

themshelves

Correct your spelling

themselves

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Sat Sep 16 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
64
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

259 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

severe injuries
fatalities
base jumping
bull running
extreme skiing
safeguard
well-being
regulating
avoidable harm
healthcare costs
burdening
personal freedom
autonomy
training
equipment
mitigated
personal satisfaction
mental health benefits
resilience
adventure
assess risks
public safety
unnecessary healthcare costs
outright bans
balanced approach
stringent safety standards
mandatory training sessions
adequately informed
safeguarding
public health

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Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.

Many people nowadays spend a large part of their free time using a smart phone. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

When designing a building, the most important factor is the intended use of the building rather than its outward appearance. To what extent do you agree or disagree?