the bar chart below shows shares of expenditures for five major categories

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The provided graphical representation sheds light on the distribution of expenditures into five different categories in the USA, Canada, UK and Japan in 2009.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Add some linking words.

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Linking words: Add linking words.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.

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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Only 1 basic words for charts were used.

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0
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

24 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

expenditure
categories
percentage
bar chart
allocation
distribution
consumer spending
economic indicator
fiscal priorities
trend analysis
budget allocation
disposable income

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the bar chart below shows shares of expenditures for five major categories

It is often argued that it is crucial for individuals to be tidy in their workplace and house, and everything should be organized in these places. I think it is a correct belief, and I advocate this opinion. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I shall explain my point of view.

In some countries, most people prefer to rent their homes rather than buying them.what are some of the advantages and disadvantages of renting homes ?

In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problem as a result of eating to much fast food. It is neccesary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree