IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

An increasing number of professional such as doctor and teacher are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. what problem does this cause ? what can be done to deal with this situation ?

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Everybody knows that people can not make everything where in the poorer
countries
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such
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 as which is needed to technology. That's why a lot of the public who are white-collar workers want to live in another
country
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. Those are some reasons and
this
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 essay will explain why they need it and what poor
countries
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Add a missing verb
are about
show examples
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
problems
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.
First,
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a lot of communities live with that
problems
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 do not about the cause strategy.
On the other hand
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, smart and developed
countries
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 could find a solution to it. They do not live the
problems
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. How they could find a result of it?
for example
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, they have to love their
country
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 since primary school.
This
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 is the most important point for do not go to another
country
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 their white-collar workers.
Moreover
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, managers of smart
countries
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 give good education and facility systems to their public.
Therefore
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, their smart students and workers can do and find everything. The public does not need to move to other
countries
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.
Second,
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poor
countries
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 have
problems
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 with their managers. unfortunately, a lot of
countries
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 that cannot develop, are governed by beliefs, not science.
for instance
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, Turkey is not governed by science which is why Turkey could not develop a
country
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such
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 as Germany or the UK.
Besides
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 that, in spite of Turkey having rich resources, could not develop.
To sum up
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, as described above; to find an explanation for the problem, the public has to know who is better than them and who has the ability to govern they should choose to do it, not
according to
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 beliefs. , In my opinion, the solution to the problem for poor
countries
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 is just does education system power. If we have a good education what we live , in is not the problem. we can solve all
problems
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.

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Task Response
The essay does not fully address the task. It lacks development and explanation of ideas, and the examples provided are not clear or relevant to the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay lacks a clear logical structure and coherence. The ideas are presented in a disorganized manner, and the link between them is not clear. Additionally, the introduction and conclusion are not well-defined.
Lexical Resource
The essay features a limited range of vocabulary and lacks precision in expression. It is important to use specific and relevant vocabulary to convey ideas effectively.
Grammatical Range
The essay contains several grammatical errors and lacks variety in sentence structures. It is important to demonstrate a range of grammatical structures and accurate use of language.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Brain Drain
  • Skilled Workforce
  • Income Disparity
  • Economic Hardship
  • Role Models
  • Competitive Salaries
  • International Cooperation
  • Bilateral Agreements
  • Incentive Programs
  • Capacity Building
  • Infrastructure Development
  • Skilled Migration
  • Talent Retainment
  • Economic Growth Stagnation
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